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The Seven Levels Of Intimacy: The Art Of Loving And The Joy Of Being Loved (2007)

The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved (2007)

Book Info

Author
Rating
4.02 of 5 Votes: 1
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ISBN
0743265122 (ISBN13: 9780743265126)
Language
English
Publisher
touchstone

About book The Seven Levels Of Intimacy: The Art Of Loving And The Joy Of Being Loved (2007)

My biggest gripe with the book is that a majority of the content is written without concrete examples. When there were concrete examples, it seemed like they were kind of tacked in and just didn't work as effectively. It flowed without any breaks.. a lot of watery and abstract descriptions of things that sure I "got" what he was saying but I felt like it lacked the punch. I skimmed through certain sections too that were topics I was already familiar with.Funnily enough, the last 30 or so pages were, in my opinion, really awesome and the most beneficial to me as a reader (definitely do the exercises!). The content was more structured, cohesive and addressed concerns that mattered most to me personally. It could be that I'm single so my take on the material is a little different - it felt targeted at couples trying to improve their existing relationships but still sort of helpful to single people.Would I recommend this book to a friend? Perhaps but only the last 30 or so pages and a few random nuggets spread out through the book. I just feel like there has to be better books out there that are better put together and have better delivery.

The message of this book was positive, and I agreed with most of what Kelly suggested about how to achieve a deeper level of emotional intimacy in any primary or high-level secondary relationship. However, his style was a bit grating. He's a public speaker, and the book was written as if he were speaking to an audience. Sometimes that style works, but in this case it just annoyed me. He repeated sentences, word for word, multiple times on one page, I'm sure to get his major points across, but once was always enough for me.

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Full of good things and crazy things. Fascinating and infuriating. Poorly written but not entirely useless. If you talk to me about it I will refer to it as "the seven-layer cake of intimacy." Claims that the purpose [not a purpose, but *the* purpose] of life is to become the best version of you you can be, which is obviously right, but stated over and over again in a way that doesn't carry as much water as Kelly wants. Yes, if you can always figure out what choice will help you become the best version of you, you're all set. I often can't. According to Kelly, relationships need to serve this purpose. I think it's great when they do, but there are other reasons you have relationships, unless you define "be the best version of you" sufficiently broadly, in which case enjoy your delicious bowl of tautological soup. Also, I think Kelly is overly enamored with ideas about leading a disciplined life, and doesn't give enough love to play and exploration.Still, I read it all the way through.
—Rif Saurous

This book is killing me. I have to force myself to read it. I've actually started reading it twice because it just bores me to death. I feel like the idea's are probably good, but each paragraph is so redundant that it could be whittled down to half the length just by taking out all the repetition. I just want to scream, "I get it! We're supposed to be the-best-version-of-ourselves! Now what?!" If I have to see that hyphenated phrase one more time I may throw the book across the room and never finish it. The thing is I really hate not finishing a book, but I only picked this one up because a wise friend said it was a life changer. I'm thinking it's just a bad delivery and not worth my time. I prefer therapy.
—Chelsea

My first books about self help and relationship. This is an area I'm increasingly interested in yet no little about. I like that the author began with a story. He also ask the question: "What is your story?" Reading about intimacy, I ask myself and recall some scene in a movie or a work of fiction, have I seen this before? Often it's not spelled out but I can see many examples of people relating to each other in intimate and non-intimate ways. The thesis seems to be happiness is related to intimacy. The author has set out to bust a few myths about relations. One is that sex does not equal intimacy. There seems to be some insight.
—Duc

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