About book The Dance Of The Dissident Daughter (2002)
I found Sue Monk Kidd’s books The Mermaid Chair and The Secret Life of Bees mesmerizing and poetic. They were the type of books that you don’t want to put down, but you don’t want to end, especially, The Secret Life of Bees. It was for this reason; I thought I would love all of SMK’s books. However, I was saddened when I read The Dance of the Dissident Daughter. In the beginning, I enjoyed the book and could definitely relate to a lot of her experiences as a woman in this society and as a Christian woman. She talks about gender bias in society and in the church. It turns out that instead of embracing how strong a woman’s role is in the church; she rejects her role as a Christian woman completely and ventures off into her own creation, her very own religion. I kept hanging in there following her on her journey, hoping her faith and obedience to Christ would return. However, it didn’t. Reading this book took me for a spiritual rollercoaster ride. Like I said, I could definitely relate to a lot of the prejudice she has experienced as a woman in the church, but I was hoping she would provide some guidance on what a woman’s role should be in the church. I was hoping she would provide a solution, a way to intertwine Christianity and Feminism. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the blind leading the blind and instead of humility (which I have found is needed to gain any understanding and wisdom) the undertone of the book was pride. Of course, looking back I can see how her journey to the “Divine Feminine” was very present in the first two novels I read and mentioned above. Perhaps, that is why I enjoyed those books so much, because they really allow you to embrace your femininity and know how powerful and nurturing a woman’s love can be. However, I feel that as a woman these are gifts from God, by His grace alone, we are able to use these gifts for good. I feel though that we should humble ourselves and thank God for these gifts rather than worshipping these gifts. I know this is a very strong opinion, but I really feel like SMK has created her own idol(s). This has been done in the past with gifts God has given us: money, power, family… I think it has come to the point where she is worshipping her femininity, which is just one of the many gifts our Creator has blessed us women with. I must mention there were some very moving and beautiful parts of this book, too, because yes, being a woman is beautiful and yes, nature is wonderful and I feel at certain parts in the book she really celebrates womanhood and nature at its best. Yet, again I stress that women and nature are gifts from God and shouldn’t be worshipped as gods themselves. I do commend her for putting herself out there and sharing her spiritual journey, that takes a lot of courage, because you know, everyone is a critic. I love all of my sisters and I share their pain and I agree that womanhood should be celebrated. I know that whether SMK knows it right now or not; she will always be His, since nothing can snatch us from our Father’s hand. I just hope she will soon rediscover the joy in that—the joy in having such a loving, merciful, and graceful Father. I still have a long way to go on my spiritual journey and what is important to me is staying true to my convictions. I feel that SMK’s book was a major stumbling block for me, as a Christian woman and therefore I would not recommend this to any other Christian woman.Anyway, I am glad that shortly after reading this book, I read The Lies Woman Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free, and I feel that book gave me the guidance I was looking for all along. Also, listed in The Lies Woman Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free are other great resources for women.
My sister sent me this book, and said she was reading it as well. I've read Sue Monk Kidd's "The Secret Life of Bees" and "The Mermaid Chair," but I had no idea that she was a Christian writer in a previous life. An incident that happened to her daughter in a drugstore led to a re-examination of Kidd's life within a patriarchal marriage, religion, and culture. She describes her spiritual journey leading to her discovery of the sacred feminine. It was an interesting book, and I found that I have shared many of her thoughts along the way. Perhaps it is a more common feminine experience than I thought.I've always noticed the glaring absence of women in the scriptures, in church authority, in cultural tradition and history, and in the divine. It seems we women have two purposes: 1) to provide pleasant and attractive company for men while they rule the world and 2) to reproduce. Even the one area designated for women--the home/family--is not truly ours. Men are said to preside there as well. I found a lot of what I call "lip service to equality," but structurally, most mono-theistic religions clearly favor the masculine over the feminine. (And if you have to be continually reminded that you are "equally important," that's usually a clear indication that you are not. Do men need this periodic reminder?) Women typically answer to men at every level from the worldwide church authority structure, to local congregational levels, even down to the home and family itself. God is viewed in purely masculine terms, and there are no feminine role models to be found. In fact, maybe it was just me, but I got the distinct impression from certain church rituals that God didn't even want to talk to me--preferring instead to communicate with me through my husband. I went on a similar spiritual journey in search of the feminine divine (although it mainly took place inside my head, unlike Kidd's journey). There are actually parts of Mormon doctrine that support the idea of a Heavenly Mother, although it is very vague and seldom discussed. I read books by Janice Allred, Margaret Toscano, Maxine Hanks, Carol Lynne Pearson. They were comforting and empowering but in the end it seemed the feminine divine was just as silent and distant to me as Mr. God had always been. As much as I'd like to believe in either one (or both!), there is too much that seems like human imagination or invention to me.I think that spirituality is a very real human emotion, and some people might experience and express it in different ways. To some, it may mean dancing around and singing and feeling a connection with nature and the divine. For others, like my mom, it is a long no-nonsense checklist of things that she must do to get into heaven. People have to find what works for them. I still haven't found what works for me. I have to imagine that if there is such a thing as a Supreme Being, it has to include aspects of both masculine and feminine. And wouldn't such a being love their daughters as much as they love their sons? I mean, come on, that apple incident was AGES ago!
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My friend, Tina, was reading another title by this author, and I looked for that book, but found this one instead. Wow. The story of this journey from Christian Tradition to Sacred Feminism casts a lot of light on my own journey from growing up in a tradition where we said 'no' to a lot of things and in a culture that upholds patriarchy to knowing and valuing my feminine side and gifts. I'm especially nurtured by Kidd's re-telling and working with the myth of the Minotaur and the labyrinth and also her sharing the periodic dreams she had that involved visits with her Inner Sacred Feminine figures. Since then I've had at least one dream of a figure I dimly identify as an Inner Feminine Guide--a white-haired teacher type from Pennsylvania, much like a nun I know named Sister Barbara, who taught about compassion. I had read her written summary, and had underlined the words, "I prefer a howling approach." Powerful book!
—Dnicebear
While I hadn't given the male slant in Christianity much thought of late, (I stopped attending a traditional protestant church in my early 20's & was now attending a liberal church), reading this book reminded me why I couldn't have been born in an earlier time. It reminded me of the stifling, oppressing man from a former relationship. Had I read this book then, I may have had the courage to end the relationship sooner. Looking to a feminine higher power isn't a negation of a male god, it just brings balance to the religious equation that has been missing for a couple of thousand years. The idea the women can serve their church by providing a casserole for the covered lunch, be expected to do most of the menial day-today- work of the church & then come Sunday, worship the "God of our Fathers" is just demeaning. Women were leaders in the early Christian churches, but were pushed down to subordinate positions as soon as the Christian religion became the official religion of Rome. Sue Monk Kidd chronicled difficult journey to find the feminine divine & we are more the richer for it.I went to a lecture & book signing by Sue Monk Kidd with a few of my friends who also enjoyed this book. She was wonderful & more than happy to sign my copy even though it hadn't been sold at that event. She said something to the effect of, I love it when the Dissident Daughters show up.
—Gina
On the day my daughter started Kindergarten, I had my first meeting with my spiritual director, which is mid-sabbatical for me. At the end of our meeting, she recommended this book and I drove directly to the Fuller bookstore and bought and sat in the cafe and read the prologue. And then I cried the whole drive home. This book will mess with you, especially if you are a woman who leads in the evangelical church. Read with care! I found this book to be the door into profound personal journey of faith and theology, but it is not for the faint of heart (or faith!). I love Kidd's description of centeredness and found myself longing and identifying with much of her journey. She is an interesting writer and it is easy to read.
—Jen
