Its awkward to read a memoir when you don't like the subject. It's awkward to read religious propaganda from a religion you don't subscribe to or ever intend to subscribe to. And it's really awkward to feel the terrible sadness of a real person's death while gawking at the absurdity of her family and friends' visions of angels and spirits.I have to admit I started off with the idea that I wasn't going to like Same Kind of Different As Me. I'd read some reviews and they were largely polarized, with religious folks loving it and everyone else complaining about the preachiness. I fully expected to be in the second camp and got to my nit-picking right away.One of my pet peeves is book (and movie) descriptions that are not accurate. The subtitle is: A Modern-Day Slave, and International Art Dealer, and the Unlikely Woman Who Bound Them Together. No no no. Yes in his early years, Denver was a "modern-day slave" and lived through shit that most of us cannot imagine. However, he left that life 40+ years ago, and I'd not call the 1960s "modern day". While we're on the topic of slavery, isn't the word "bound" kind of in poor taste? And if anyone is going to bring together a wealthy snob and a jaded homeless man, a wealthy person with a passion for serving the homeless seems to be the most likely person to make the introduction (or is it unlikely for any wealthy person to be genuinely philanthropic?).Once I got beyond the book jacket things didn't get a whole lot better. While, Denver's story was fascinating, Ron came across like a egomaniac, a woman-hating rich guy pushing his religion. Eventually the cancer story kicked into one heart breaking scene after another and I finally started to become involved with the story and my opinion of Ron slowly climbed. In the end, I did find the book to be inspirational from a civic-works kind of context and I was able to dig out a few pearls of wisdom from Denver's messages.Once I realized I was reading evangelical propaganda, it all made a little more sense. (Make no mistake this isn't a memoir that happens to be religious, it's published by a publisher who deals exclusively in Christian books.) In a way, I read it as kind of a social-studies text-a view into a world I don't normally see. There are people who believe this stuff and talk like this and attempt to disguise their proselytizing as humanitarian work. Ron and Deborah are probably supposed to be roll models. I could see that the things I disliked about Ron are part of that whole culture. In all, Same Kind of Different As Me reinforced some of the negative stereotypes I already had about evangelicals. I wish that wasn't the case as I'd like to be less judgmental.Denver's fascinating early life, Deborah's good works, her good intentions and her emotional story all lead me to like this book more than I'd expected to. But the self congratulations, religiousness and propaganda subtracted largely from my ability to like this book.
I began reading this for one book club but ran out of time. But then the other book club I'm in picked this book too. Guess it is time to start reading this all the way through this time.I'm glad I was presented with another opportunity to read this book. I'm not sure if I would have picked it up to finish again if it hadn't been for the selection to read this with my other book club. It still did not make it into my top book picks but it still served the purpose of a good read and offering thought provoking moments throughout.The beginning of the book was a little slow for me. However I understand that the author needed to build the back story. I'm not sure I appreciated the different voices used to write this story (Denver and Ron) but it was almost as if it was fitting to the title and almost necessary for the book. Meeting for the book discussion raised many questions and deep thought. How does one decide when it is time to let go with death? Is your faith strong enough to get you through the hard times and still stay with God? More importantly, how could one start to live their life in hopes to being (or trying to aspire to be) the next Deborah? Also just for a thought, one girl from our group sent out the idea, "we don't know what angels look like".One of my favorite parts from this book is when Denver asks Ron if he is going to catch and release him. This in turn had me sit and think about the friendships I have "caught and released". Part of me feels they were necessary to my own development as a person yet another piece asks if I might have abandoned some in their "time of need (growth)". Have you ever caught and released someone in your life?I feel I am still searching for something to make my life whole. I often sit and wonder what it is that I may be called to do. How could I best use my gifts to help others in this world? Do I have the strength to leave my comfort and dive head first into whatever it may be?Now onto some quotes..."... who knows our number of days. I intend to fulfill each one of mine.""Am I terminal? ... We're all terminal... None of us makes it our of here alive.""People think they're in control, but they ain't. The truth is, that which must befall thee must befall thee. And that which must pass thee by must pass thee by.""How do you live the rest of your life in just a few days?"Spoiler (last few lines of the book)"But I found out everybody's different - the same kind of different as me. We're all just regular folks walkin down the road God done set in front of us. The truth about it is, whether we is rich or poor or something in between. this earth ain't no final restin place. So in a way, we is all homeless - just workin our way toward home."
This was a book club pick for us this month. I am having a bit of trouble figuring out how to rate this, between three or four. I may change it down the road, you know me.Anyway, when I first began this book, I really thought that Ron was a bit annoying. I'm glad he has done well in life, but I don't want to hear all the details of it. Although I do think he's pretty honest in stating all the stereotypes he had of people in the beginning, stereotypes of classes and races and people. In the beginning he goes to the shelter because his wife wants him to. He befriends Denver, a homeless black man, because he thinks he's doing a good deed. He admits he's kind of a jerk.The second half of the book I enjoyed more. I loved Denver's story, his wisdom, and living in the South I could appreciate the tragic history of sharecropping and its ripple effect through time. As Ron's wife goes through her struggle with cancer, there was so much I could relate to. The pain of it all. At the beginning of the book, Ron believes he is doing a nice thing for Denver. By the end of the book, we realize that it is Denver who saves Ron. He is the one that Ron desperately relies on in his struggles, the one who teaches Ron humility, kindness, and the meaning of true friendship. He is the one that teaches that even when you don't get the miracle you want, there is still beauty and goodness in life, as well as strength in trials. Denver is a really amazing man.This is a Christian-themed book, so it may not be someone's thing. I do think it's worth reading just to see the point of how wrong we can be when we rely on assumptions and stereotypes which prevent us from seeing the beauty of the person in front of us.
—Amy S
Even though written from two disparate viewpoints, I felt humbled and awed at Debbie's journey toward what Wesley taught as Christian perfection. Without delving too deeply into Methodist theology, she walked the walk and talked the talk. Mother Teresa said, “If we want the poor to see Christ in us, we have to see the image of Christ in the poor.”Wesley’s practical, daily responses to loving God and loving neighbor encouraged his small groups to be among the poor, to visit the sick, and to witness with their eyes the deplorable conditions of those who go without.Debbie and eventually Ron practiced unconditional love on a scale seldom (sadly) seen.
—Jon
I am currently reading this book; I saw it in Walmart and I didn't pick it up then, but I just had to get a copy of this book. I'll hold judgement for now but from what I've read, I am touched. No, it may not be the most well written book, it may not be this or that, but if it touches lives, I'm down for it anyday and from what I see here, that's what it's doing. Well, I finished this within a day and I tell you, I wanted to grab a hanky and cry when Debbie died. One thing that struck me most was when she called up the lady with whom Ron had an affair with and told her that she knew about her, she hoped she find someone that would love and honor her one day, and that she took the blame for what went down in the affair, but that she was going to be working hard on keeping her marriage and if she did her job right, she wouldn't be hearing from Ron again. I tell you, a LOT of us could have learned a lesson from this lady because she handled it with style and grace. With that said, let me move on to Denver. Denver and the things he went through was sad. I thought he would talk about how things were, and he did but to a point. I felt bad when he lost his grandmother, father, and other family members because I truly felt he needed them. I wanted to truly weep when he talked about the fire that took his paternal grandmother and cousin. I wanted to weep when he talked about working but that all in all, "the man" was fair because if they "ALL" was rich, then no one wanted to work. I believe in God and his miracles and I truly believe that He performed one when Debbie and Ron went to the homeless mission and tried to help the folks there. I only hope and pray that coming away from this book that folks get touched enough to help someone like Debbie and Ron did and make this world a more better place.
—Nandi Crawford
