Pages Survived: 215You know, when books are this bad, there should be a contractual and moral obligation to glorify the societal act of book burning. More Than a Mistress is a thing so bad, so atrociously rape-my-anal-glands awful that I'm convinced a spiked sledgehammer to the forehead wouldn't hurt nearly as much as this piece of garbage. Oh, that too real? Too mean spirited? Ha. Buckle up, kiddies, because there is so much book-hate to follow that you're gonna be craving a cyanide pill before the grand finale. "Oh, get over yourself Jacqueline," as I'm sure you're absolutely thinking, "This book can't possibly be that unpleasant." And, you're right, it's not unpleasant, it's downright shittastic. Why? Oh, so many reasons! However, since it's basically the definition of Not Helpful to list "All Of The Book" as the problem with this story, I will attempt to narrow my book-rage to just six reasons. So, here it is; my exposé entitled The Half Herculean Reasons Why This Mary Balogh Book Sucks So Much Ass.Reason Number 1: "Hark! Bullshit dialogue! Look, a tree!"You know that spastic hyperactive idiot you see in every bad sitcom, the one that takes sugar intravenously and couldn't focus on a single topic even were you to take a baseball bat to his cranium? Well, that painful (haha, puns) analogy is basically the equivalent to every damned moment of dialogue in this novel. I swear this book has such an abhorrent lack of conversation topic-transitions between the verbal exchanges of the characters that I'm half convinced Mary Balogh thought, "Cohesive conversation? We don't need no stinkin' cohesive conversation!" and then proceeded to run into her corner to laugh maniacally. I'm all for realistic conversation, ones that ebb and flow in both topic and tone, but please, for the love of tasty fat-free French fries, Ms. Balogh, please give your dear readers a transitional POV pause! Mr. Hero going from talking about his owie-injuries to bursting forth with his uncontrollable desire to put his man-meat inside Miss Heroine's hooha is just damned weird-awkward. "My leg hurts. I want to bang you," not only makes hero-dude sound six kinds of batshit crazy, but subsequent examples make dialogue choppy and unbelievable, which, yeah know, is a bad thing. Well, not unless you WANT to make your characters sound like drooling whackadoodles, and if so then by all means, proceed!Reason Number 2: Pretty Words Do Not Always A Book MakeI love me some flowery prose. Like, c'mon, we romance readers cut our teeth on the divine words that are Jane Austen and Cecila Grant. But, let's put one hella distinctive point on this issue, shall we? Just because something is written pretty with nice words and elegant phrases does not mean that the book is subsequently good. Along with pretty vocabulary and sentence structure we need require damn well deserve emotional grounding and elemental connection with the characters and the story! I need to feel feels, dammit, and Ms. Balogh, you're holding out!Reason Number 3: Characters are caricatures lacking characteristics!Come one, come all, ladies, gentlemen and other! Learn how to kill a novel deader than a liquefied zombie! How, you might ask? Why, by zapping any and all personality, likability, believability, and understandable motivation from your book peeps! I kid you not one bad Adam Sandler joke that the book's leads, Jocelyn and Jane, are the flattest, most one-dimensional, most sodding bore-fests of wet rags I have ever read. 215 pages I spent with these two special kinds of special, and all I can tell you is that the hero is a dick-bag and the heroine is TSTL. When the hero's not prancing around being a colossal ass-hat to the heroine...(view spoiler)[Colossal Ass-Hat Examples: Yelling at a female working-class stranger because you were the idiot who looked away from a pointed gun? Check. Acting like a whiny little bitch with mood swings that make PMS look pleasant? Check. Turning into a giant squid of anger, ranting at your mistress after you start recalling bad memories after your first bang-session because that's so obviously Jane's fault? Check. Having the "I hired you to be my whore but you're acting like my whore when I treat you like my whore and that pisses me off" attitude? Check. Like I said; elitist crotch knob. (hide spoiler)]
In the middle of a duel the Duke of Tresham is distracted by a woman yelling at the participants to stop. In his distraction the Duke ends up being shot in the leg. He blames the woman and summons her to him so he can make sure she knows it. He's surprised when she doesn't give ground and admit she was wrong. Believing it is her fault he ends up detaining her to help him which ends up making her late for work. When Jane tries to explain the circumstances to her boss the woman says she won't believe her unless she has a signed note from the Duke. Jane refuses to let the Duke off the hook for making her lose her job and goes to his house to acquire the note.The Duke is amazed by her gall and ends up hiring her as his nurse to entertain him after the doctor says he must stay abed for three weeks. Jane agrees because what choice does she have? She doesn't want to starve. They both agree it will be temporary until he's back on his feet. While she plays the nurse the Duke amuses himself by picking at her. He likes that she never backs down. When he demands she show him respect and address him as "your grace" she demands the courtesy right back and will only let him call her Miss Ingleby. Every time he pushes her on something she stands her ground and pushes him right back. Slowly the two realize their attraction to each other and try to fight the feelings. They both know it can't go anywhere. The Duke, Jocelyn, refuses to seduce a servant under his protection and Jane has secrets that she is reluctant to admit. When Jane tells Jocelyn that it is time for her to go he ends up offering her the position of his mistress. Jane realizes she'll be in a better position to hide her secrets if she accepts, and truthfully she doesn't want to leave him. What follows is a beautiful tale of friendship and love. Even though the road is rocky until the end they both couldn't be happier when they are finally together.I loved the fact that friendship between Jocelyn and Jane was so important to this story. It was nice to see that they didn't just love each other. They actually liked the person inside too. Often I'll read stories where the hero and heroine love each other but it seems like they can't help it. They never seem to really like each other and want to be friends. This book was a very refreshing change of pace. I also really liked Jocelyn's habit of saying the total opposite of how he felt when he was vulnerable. When he turned haughty and tried to put distance between them she knew exactly what he was doing and why he was doing it. It was fun to see him scramble to regain his Duke persona when he felt his feelings overtaking him.The contract was an interesting piece of the story. It was also a very smart move on Jane's part. I liked that she tried to hide their emerging relationship behind the contract. It was nice to see Jocelyn be the one uncertain of Jane's feelings. Did she really want him or was it only because she knew he wanted her? Why was she so ashamed of him? Watching him try to work through insecurities like that without revealing how much it meant to him was sweet. I really liked the very last chapter. Watching how the status of their relationship was revealed made me smile. One thing I didn't like was the end of the chapter just before that. I was really confused. When Jane admits something really important to Jocelyn and he's says that it changes everything the chapter just ends. What happened there? Did he pressure her? It's very frustrating. If anyone cares to explain it feel free to leave a comment.Other than that slight confusion I loved the book.
Do You like book More Than A Mistress (2006)?
Written September 23, 20143.8 Stars - A perfect enjoying historical with a cold-hearted hero ... gasp!!My first historical by Mary Balogh is a "Regency" story written 2000. An, as it so often is when it comes to me, completely unplanned impulse "click and buy" book. In retrospect, a successful one. Certainly not my last by this author. Good spent book-time in all ways. Quality in my ears (listened on the audio) makes me happy, very happy.More Than a Mistress feels like an classic HR in the good old school. We get a proud, and at times very sarcastic and cruel, hero, a genuine ideal young beautiful lady heroine and a amusing heartwarming romantic drama. Also tastefully and comfortably enough with the right amount of heat and steam and I must say that I liked that. ***********************************************************Twenty years old Jane Ingleby is far too bold for her own good and after she try to stop a duel is she stucked with a rake, Jocelyn Dudley, the Duke of Tresham. After a bit of fuss about who hurt who is he hiring her as his nurse for three weeks. But Jane has more than one secret and the Duke begin soon to suspect that this saucy young woman is not just who she tells. Her fine talents, good conversational ability and beautiful blonde hair get our hero to crave more than just his nurse help with his footstool (needed as a result of the gunshot wound). Three weeks are not much when you have fun. She needs a job, housing and security (a hiding place?). He needs a warm body and a woman to visit some nights. # An agreement is signed. ‘Now she realized she had never been kissed before. Not really. Not like this.Ah, never like this.’***********************************************************Gosh yes, yet another lovely audiobook. I will never be able to return to just reading books.I've listened to the audio narrated by Rosalyn Landor. A narrator voice I knew I would once again like. Ms Landor is fantastic with this kind of stories with much dialogue and slightly melancholic heroes. You could say that I'm in both a huge audio-binge AND a, big but not huge maybe, HR-binge right now. A romance genre which does (fits) very good in the audio format. So it seems to me in any case. *********************************************************** A lovely HR with a well thought out intriguing story plot. I more or less fell in all of these cleverly-made (for good romances so needed) emotions-traps. ...My heart ached and chafed painfully. I laughed and giggled, cried and snorted. I almost hated the hero and had the urge to pat the heroine on her head. I had to wait for the kiss and hear them bumping hot in the bedroom - rightly, as it should be. “Everyone should know what it is like to be called by name. By the name of the unique person one is at heart.” Perfect in so many ways. ~ Just what a historical romance should be to make me happy. ~ Tempted me to want to read more books in the series. We will see.I LIKE - these gorgeous memorable rake-heroes...
—Ingela
This was my first book by Ms. Balogh. I don't remember what made me pick up this book. I bought it as an omnibus along with No Man's Mistress. Before starting this I had been reading a contemporary. But after I started this book I didn't pick up another book. What really struck me about this story was how well done it was. I really got into this story. I felt like the characters are really life like if that makes sense. They were well written and I loved their characterization. And I really liked seeing Jocelyn come into his own. It was interesting to see how he broke away from the strict gender roles his father had set for me. I really enjoyed this book and I'm looking forward to reading more of Ms. Balogh's work.
—Destiny
First listen - I have listened to two versions of this - both unabridged. I enjoyed the second much more than the first. Second listen - I plan to write a full review but for now, I'll say that this is my favorite Balogh. It's old school in many ways but is laugh out loud funny with the Duke's reactions to the heroine. But I think it best to add in here that I enjoy books with mistresses and the heroine here is a mistress in the truest sense of the word. No playing around with a "possible" mistress or a "supposed" mistress but yet it doesn't stay there. Although not a Landor fan when it comes to her voicing of male characters, this one worked for me.
—Lea's Audiobooks Hensley
