About book The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide For All Of Us (2004)
This book is my friggin bible. It almost brought tears to my eyes to see such a great resource for women who have sex with women and to have it feel accessible and approachable to those of us who don't fit the traditional vanilla lesbian lifestyle - the butches, the gender warriors, the trans folk, the drag kings, the kinksters. The most useful bit is not the instructions, per se (although those are REALLY good - I learned about a billion new things) - it's the information on how to get what you want, give what your partner wants, and (perhaps most importantly) figure out what you and your partner want. It may seem repetitive at times, but I think that's just how it's structured - she's assuming you won't read it cover to cover and rather will flip to the parts you think are relevant. The "whole" part of the title is dead-on, that's all I can say. Read this freaking book, I don't care how you identify in terms of gender and orientation. It's good advice for anyone, really. I'm a queer Domme who plays with both genders, and I'm actually assigning parts of this book as required reading for my guysubs, mostly because it really busts a lot of pervasive cultural myths we have about sex with women - the idea that orgasms are the end-all of everything, that there's a way to do sex with women "right" that works for everyone, etc.
Very helpful. This is the first how-to book in which I actually interacted with it by applying what I've learned like stating what I want, my turn ons, my turn offs and being comfortable with my sexuality. It also celebrates the wonder of the human sexuality as not being boxed into categories and not making you feel uncomfortable by not fitting into the models for which you've been taught to accord with since we became aware of ourselves as sensate creatures. Instead, it celebrates the beauty of sexuality as not being categorized and understood in binary terms but concrete and specific enough to put then into details so we will have attainable goals on how to reach them, to enact our fantasies or to let them remain as simply that.This has become an instant favorite of mine and I will constantly review this even if I'm single or when I will have my relationship. I highly recommend this.
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It was a pretty good book; I think if you've been out for awhile you probably already know how to please a woman and negotiate how things work in and out in bed with two women. You've probably used or had the pleasure of experiencing a strap on, you know not only where the clit is but where the g-spot is, you know how to have or give multiple orgasms, and if you're lucky (or talented), you've experienced a female ejaculation. But before you can get into all this good stuff, you have to know how to find a woman, which unfortunately usually means going out into the drama-filled world of lesbian bars. The alternative is websites like Craigslist or OkCupid or Match (or other websites in this genre, although forget eHarmony - they cater to breeders only). So, it tells it how the bar scene usually works, which in all reality isn't much different from a hetero place except that most females aren't as aggressive as guys, and one-night stands are rare (not that they don't happen, but it is not common). Oh and watch out for straight couples - they're usually shopping for a third. All in all, not a bad book; though somewhat basic it had some interesting info, and if you're just learning the scene, it's not a bad place to start.
—Sara
