About book The Road Through Wonderland: Surviving John Holmes (2010)
Amazon recommended this book to me and I downloaded without knowing any of the details. I wasn't aware of the Wonderland Murders, although I know who John Holmes is (through reputation), so I was interested to hear what this was all about.This book has less to do with the actual murders than with Dawn's relationship with John Holmes and surviving his abuse. What first began as a relationship between a 30-something year old man and a teenage girl developed into a physically and mentally abusive relationship over the years that became darker and darker as their drug use got out of control. This book isn't about the murders themselves, so if you're itching for gory details, look elsewhere. Instead, this book is about Dawn's path of survival -- from surviving a severely dysfunctional family in a dangerous neighborhood to finding her way in California with no adult guidance, to finally surviving a relationship with a man who was powerful and dangerous and toxic in every way.It is a hard story to read. She details some of the graphic violence and hints at other parts, but it is full of helpful information for anyone in an abusive situation (including the appendix, full of resources). The key take-away, for me, was to speak up. If you see a child in your neighborhood or school that is having a hard time - whether you're a parent or a teacher - SAY SOMETHING. Maybe their family is going through a rough patch or maybe its something more chronic and serious. Offering them support could change their lives and possibly save a child from a life of neglect and unhealthy relationship patterns, not to mention drugs and violence. A must read, a remarkable, well-written autobiography made by an incredibly extraordinary, brave, sensitive and smart woman who survived the King of porn who transformed himself into a narcissistic puppeteer. A man who loved an adolescent or the naive image she reflected of him and manipulated her, led her to a dirty game of drugs and self-destruction. A seductive, charismatic, clever and intricate man who wasn't bad but got controlled and twisted by a despicable underground world of hard drugs and sex and eventually gave up his life to it and embarked Dawn into this painful journey of misery.From a paternal/fraternal figure, he converted into an authentic best friend, caring lover and ultimately the worst paranoid and self-absorbed tyran you could think of. He sincerely loved her before the drugs took a drastic and irreparable hold on him but there were some cryptic and questionable elements about the way he loved her: his ultra possessive side, he wouldn't let her have a social life even if she wanted to (due to her tender and naive age, John was Dawn's world and she didn't think of letting enter anybody else into her life). He made her get a hard-knock, full-time work instead of encouraging her to pursue her studies and take care of all the spendings. After all, let's not forget he was the king of porn so if he knew how to manage his money, he could have lived a well-off life.Let alone the fact that he was still living with his first (sisterly/motherly strongly ambiguous) love Sharon so everything they did was part of a ménage-a-trois. He didn't stand up for her every time his brother David and his mother mistreat her; all these essential details amplified by drugs would foreshadow his horrendous demeanor toward our dear author.However she successfully managed to escape him and this highly tormented life and surprisingly rebuilt herself. The novel is written by a young candid Dawn who amazingly succeeded in recounting an image of John that matched the idea she had of him when the story happened. She did not let her emotions alter his description. Her narration is so eloquent that I caught myself developing for John the very same feelings she had for him (attraction, friendship, admiration, trust, fright, incomprehension and hatred). For those who wonder if Dawn will give any graphic detail about her forced sexual experiences, the Wonderland murders or any juicy element about John's X-rated universe, that won't happen but she explains remarkably what she endured. The more I read Dawn's story, the more I loved her and saw her as a sister who could have been a wonderful friend. An inspiring and uplifting adult autobiographic novel I would recommend to anyone.
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Puts a different light on things, especially with the movie Wonderland.
—smileyface
Amazing that this girl survived, and didn't end up in prison.
—Nicklebrick
