About book The Places That Scare You: A Guide To Fearlessness In Difficult Times (2007)
I've always been leery of the self-help genre. I'm mistrustful of anyone who tells me how to think, feel, act. I've also seen people read self-help books like serial novels, always chasing some specter of an ideal self with the assumption that their current self is somehow inadequate or broken. These two perspectives have always repelled me from most anything self-help. Pema Chödrön's The Places That Scare You came in a time of personal need and it's been a medicine I've enjoyed taking for dealing with the uncertainty and pains of life. The writing is simple and clear. Instruction and insight is provided in bite-sized chapters, perfect to read, think on, and read again. It can be a bit repetitive and some of the analogies seem a little flimsy but I think the book still stands as worthwhile and nourishing.The Places That Scare You is an introduction to a particular perspective on Bodhicitta, lessons and ideas in exercising compassion and by doing so, come to accept ourselves (note: I'm sure this is hugely reductive but bear with me). I've always thought that Buddhism focused on transcending ignorance, escaping the pain of life and maybe even fostering a sense of stoicism. For all I know this is partially correct or there are some sects that do attempt this alone. Bodhicitta is more in line with mindfulness though, sidling up close to our emotions rather than trying to escape them, and not putting any judgement values on our thoughts and feelings. Chödrön says our emotions can be teachers and allow us to learn compassion, even for those we most violently clash with. It's not about transcending life but savoring the highs and lows and being okay with it all. For years now I've noticed how difficult it is to exist calmly with uncertainty. I've held onto thoughts and beliefs with a kung fu death grip under the assumption they constitute a certain "Will" and to some extent, still do buy into this. But those thoughts and emotions can serve as teachers, on one hand coming to a deeper empathy with friends, family, strangers, enemies, and on the other, being okay with myself.
As I was brushing my teeth this morning after finishing this book, this line came into my head:When I find myself of times of trouble, Pema Chodron calls to me, speaking words of wisdom: Let it be...Corny, huh? Totally true. I read When Things Fall Apart over a year ago when I was going through a really rough time, and when I hit a serious road block nearly two months ago, I picked this'n up. In similar fashion with my reading habits of late, I only just finished this wonderful morsel. I won't be stashing it away on the old bookshelf just yet though. I've still got tough times to face, so it will stay right where it is on my nightstand.At first I was totally repelled by the title in accordance with my instant aversion to anything sounding like a self-help book (perhaps that's too telling...) (I bristled before falling in love with Amy Hempel's Reasons to Live), but then I thought, "You know what? I do need help." And then, "Yeah, 'cause you know what? I am freaked the F*** out right now." I love her. She is the most accesible Buddhist author I've yet encountered. Her approach is realistic--even though I am still struggling with the craziness, I am slowly able to incorporate the exercises, acting on the moment.Favorite line: "All too frequently we relate like timid birds who don't dare to leave the nest. Here we sit in a nest that's getting pretty smelly and that hasn't served its function for a very long time" (8). You heard it, folks. Smelly nest.
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Pema Chodron is a Buddhist nun living in a Western monastery in Nova Scotia. In her book, The Places that Scare You, Chodron shares "a guide to fearlessness in difficult times." I found it practical, easy to read and engaging, as if I was sitting down with a mentor over a cup of tea and having a conversation about these practices. I feel this book would appeal to anyone who is going through a difficult time or high rate of transitions in his/her life, particularly those who have a curiosity or interest in Eastern thought. This book is full of wisdom to help one to stay present, accept the truth, to practice gratitude and to remain joyful. Additionally, one will learn the importance of meditation as well as to have compassion and forgiveness for oneself, others and the collective consciousness of humanity. Bottom line: we don't have to suffer.
—Ange
This is my first book by Pema. I found myself drifting in and out due to her writing style, but I'm not exactly sure why. It could be due to her lack of clear examples at times, Buddhist terms, and overall accessibility of the concepts. The end seemed to turn completely around, however. It was as though she took a hiatus from her writing and found her voice. It picked up in speed while becoming more clear and accessible, along with practical tips on what one could do. That alone deserved 1-2 stars.
—Alex
I got this from interlibrary loan after really enjoying When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times. I would say I have the same struggles with this one - feeling rather overwhelmed by much of the Buddhist lingo that permeates the text, lacking any context of it other than the explanations provided in the book. But there are some parts I really liked. Chapter 4, "Learning to Stay," discusses living with discomfort, whether that is physical, emotional, etc. I just kept thinking of a friend who often follows a statement with "But I have and am in my breath, so I am fine." I wonder if he is a bit Buddhist.Chapters on loving-kindness, compassion, and joy insist on this being something that is shared, based on empathy and understanding. "Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity."I was a bit surprised - places that scare you are not tangible. It's not the dark. It isn't even war. It is another person's pain, our own discomfort, the suffering of a stranger.
—Jenny (Reading Envy)
