This book was perfect for me. It was just what I needed to hear. I always look forward to the next milestone in life and tell myself that I'll be happy when I get there, however the milestone comes and goes I'm never satisfied. I learned that we need to appreciate our spouses, our jobs etc more, so that we don't get burnt out with them. We need to make sure we're having more positive than negative emotions in a day. We need to forgive, and notice when we're being neglectful or mean. A lot of the time we're more dissatisfied with ourselves than with our spouse, so we want to "leave" ourselves more than our spouses.Instead of thinking we'll only be happy once we get to the goal, we need to enjoy the struggle along the way. We need to be happy for other people's successes, not their misfortunes. We need to choose growth over security. We need to spend money on experiences, not things. We'll be happier if we spend money on other people. We need to meditate more. Being in nature makes us happy. Of course there's much more to this book, but these were the notes I took that I needed for me. I give this four stars not so much for the writing, but for the wisdom. Sonja Lyumomirsky has been a leader in the positive psychology movement, which looks more for what makes us whole and healthy than what makes us disjointed and sick.In this book, she distills the results from scores of studies to try to offer evidence-based advice for how to achieve real happiness and get rid of the delusions about happiness that often rule our lives.Just a few examples: One great fly in the ointment of most people's beliefs about happiness is something called hedonic adaptation, which we humans are very good at. Simply put, it means that every big goal we set -- to have children, get a great job, buy the perfect house, take the unforgettable vacation -- is sabotaged by our ability to quickly become used to whatever benefit we've acquired. But as in the rest of this book, Lyubomirsky doesn't just point that out; she offers practical advice for avoiding this trap, in this case suggesting that people who space out their pleasures into smaller, more regular doses will get a bigger happiness boost, not to mention the fact that people are usually happier making other people happy than they are trying to please themselves.She also deals with relationship difficulties, bad news from the doctor, and especially relevant for me, reaching that stage in life when you have to acknowledge that certain dreams you once had will never come true. A major lesson in that latter part of the book is the idea that study after study has shown that people tend to be happiest after middle age and on into old age, at least until physical debility and loss of loved ones makes too many inroads. A major reason for that, she says, is that we have a remarkable ability to filter out the bad memories from previous parts of our lives, as well as to focus more on the things that really makes us happy, when we are no longer striving quite so hard for that next job, prize, or perfect relationship.This book will give you much to think about, just one reason it took me awhile to get through it.
Do You like book The Myth Of Happiness (2000)?
I liked how this book was organized. A fun read that I found myself referring to in conversation
—steven
This book had a lot of good information but wasn't written with self-help in mind.
—morinel
Insightful look at the way we experience happiness. Glad I picked it up.
—nyx
A very important book for describing methods needed to gain gratitude.
—ezimbelman
