I don’t know where writers get all their ideas from, but I love the variety I’ve been reading lately. Although some would consider it kidnapping, Arbella is rescued from the midst of a battle between King Edward Longshanks’ men and the army of William Wallace. Her rescuer takes her to his home until she can be reunited with her family. But love prevents that reunion from happening. A lovely story with a look at a Scotland wanting her own independence. It shows that the author has potential, but that's about it. It needed a heavy dose of editing, a lot of filler/fluff with no actual importance to the story. In one sentence, the main character spoke of his only sister and then in the next paragraph, he mentions his other sister. I believe the author actually wrote "writhing and then more writhing." Arbella thought about going to the Abbey before she even knew about where they were going and then was surprised when he told her. Again, a great need to be edited. There were phrases and terms that were used that were not from the time period. It felt like someone who had read a bunch of scottish romance novels and decided to write their own, basing everything off of what they had read, not actual research. All of the issues and problems the characters go through are easily fixed (and all of them fixed in the same day) and a little too obvious and cleanly. Also, one thing that bothered me was the fact that they had been married a month tops and they discuss her "slightly rounded tummy." Not gonna happen (the pregnancy, yes, but it would not be showing that early).The author has potential, but in the way you read a high schooler's work and can see that with growth, research, knowledge and practice, they could give you something good. It feels like a long way off though.
