About book The Clue Of The Linoleum Lederhosen (2006)
A WARNING TO CHILDREN:THIS REVIEW CONTAINS WORDS THAT SHOULD ONLY EVER BE USED BY MOMMIES AND DADDIES WHO LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH. IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF…I DON’T KNOW….ELEVEN? TWELVE?....PLEASE CLICK ON THIS ELF PHOTO: IF YOU ARE OLDER THAN THAT, PLEASE CONTINUE.I can’t remember how old I was the first time I found The Hardy Boys. I remember wandering through the kid-sized stacks in my elementary school library and stumbling across this collection of blue hardbacks. The titles leapt out at me: Mystery of the Desert Giant, The Hooded Hawk Mystery, Mystery of the Aztec Warrior, Danger on Vampire Trail…Sidebar:What the fuck, Franklin W. Dixhead!? You son of a bitch! I’m using fantasticfiction.co.uk to refresh my memory on the titles of these books and I learn that you didn’t even write them! Not even the first ones! Who are you, Franklin W. Dixon?!/SidebarAnyway, now that what was left of my child-heart has been pissed on, I loved these books. I’ve always loved reading, but I mainly read books I had at home. Thought we didn’t have much money, my mom was very good about letting me buy things through the school’s Scholastic book order program, and she always kept me well stocked for birthdays and Christmas. So when I went to the library with my class at school, I’d typically get a book about snakes with really cool pictures and be done with it. But this chance discovery changed my life. For the first time, I brought a book home from the library and actually read it.And when I was done, I went back to that library and exchanged that book for another. And another. And another. I got my friends to read them (you could still do that in elementary school). Then I set about collecting the books for myself. For a good five Christmases, I begged that fat man in the red suit for the complete set of Hardy Boys mysteries (while my dumbass brother asked, year after year, without fail, for a remote control cactus – what the fuck do you do with a remote control cactus?). Apparently I was never specific enough (he must have been confused due to the sheer number of Hardy Boys series), because he never delivered. He’d give me a couple each year, though, so I was somewhat appeased.By the end, I had a fuckton of those books (including a first edition I bought for $12 at an antique store). Eventually, the love waned and I sold them for a off-key song to a used book store. This book, in case you’re wondering, features a number of fictional child detectives. They exist in a real-type world. It’s kind of sad, as so many of them have been forgotten and are having to face that in their lives. It’s a huge existential issue, apparently, to no longer be read. And it is just as bad to be much loved and, as a result, trapped in an eternal childhood. Age directly correlates with popularity. There’s a moral there somewhere, I’m sure of it.The book is about as cutesy and goofy as you might expect- in the beginning. After that, it gets batshit crazy (but more on that in a moment). This book is kind of like a cross between Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events and Joe Meno’s The Boy Detective Fails. You’ve got a group of characters who are so out of touch with reality as it has evolved, thrust into a world that pretty much preys on that innocence. There’s no point at which the reader is unaware that these characters don’t actually matter, not even the protagonists, as plucky as they may be. And if the book would have continued exploiting these characters in the forced and boring way it started out with, it would have been completely forgettable. But, as I promised earlier, it got bizarro-weird.SPOILERS TO FOLLOWSo the plot goes like this: a bunch of child detectives are lured to a hotel by a coupon for a free dinner. The coupons, It turns out, are fraudulent photocopies. Everyone is surprised and disappointed. But the excitement soars when the Hooper Quints, a group of sibling detectives no one remembers, goes missing.Then some stuff happens.Then the mystery is solved. The Quints kidnapped themselves! And how were they foiled, you ask? I’ll tell you. The Quints were misinformed by their nanny, who told them that they were all identical. They are, in fact, fraternal. No one has ever seen them before, so no one knows what they look like. This whole time, they’ve been pretending to be one man! But their act is spoiled when one of the female Quints pretends to be a male Quint! Men and women look different! Don’t you see?! When the Quints are found out, they try to kill everyone. But do you know who saves the day? Yep, you guessed it, a previously unmentioned ghost horse! See, one of the sadder child detectives was the protagonist in one of those dead horse books. Everyone thought he was crazy and that he just pretended to talk to his dead horse all the time, but it was, apparently, a ghost./SPOILERSAnd that is what ultimately redeemed this book. The cover is boring. The first 7/8 of it are mostly uninteresting. But those last fifteen pages? Pure fucking gold.This experience was enough to make me miss The Hardy Boys. I can’t help but wonder what Frank and Joe are up to now. I hope they’re thinking of me.
I've wanted to read THE CLUE OF THE LINOLEUM LEDERHOSEN for a long time. It's been so long since I put it on my TBR list, that I can't remember the exact reason why I put it there. Possibly, I read a great review or received a recommendation from a student. Anyway, I was eager to delve into the story and looking forward to a funny, entertaining story.Three friends, Lily, Jasper and Katie, travel to a ski lodge for a vacation. What's so unusual about the trio is that each stars in his or her own series of children's books. When they arrive at the resort lodge, they discover that other stars of children's book series are also guests there. When the Hooper Quints are kidnapped, a priceless necklace is stolen, and some of the lodge's mounted animal heads go missing, the friends determine to solve each of the mysteries.THE CLUE OF THE LINOLEUM LEDERHOSEN missed meeting my expectations by a long shot. What I thought was an hilarious premise ended up just a stupid story. I honestly don't think young readers today would understand much less appreciate the references and homage to children's book series of the 1920s, 30s, and 40s. Even I, who at least could recognize the references, really didn't 'get' it. I just kept wishing for the end of the story to get there as fast as possible, so I could be done. This is one I won't be recommending, a 'D' grade from me.
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This story is part of a larger collection. The three young protagonists—Lily, Jasper, and Kate—want a vacation from their investigations, so they check into a resort where they are immediately met with a dozen other detective. Not long after everyone is gathered, a mystery presents itself in the form of missing quintuplets. While Lily and Jasper are eager to join the groups that assemble to find the missing people, Kate declines, determined to enjoy her vacation fully. As the story progresses, the three of them are separated, and through their individual experiences, they are able to collectively solve the mystery. I didn’t care for this story—it was so silly and ridiculous (dialog, characters, and plot) that it stopped being amusing after the first few pages. The characters were all very flat and incredibly predictable. There are many stories where some characters are put in solely for comic relief, yet it each of the characters in this story could have fit into that category. I think that a younger audience might enjoy this story as purely entertaining. I think that the audience’s sense of humor would grab a younger audience more than it would any older reader.
—Jessica Leatham
Listened to the BOCD - same narrator as [Flame-Pits of Delaware|183278] but not as enjoyable. I didn't laugh nearly as much. Details that might have seemed funny because they were silly - such as snow in the summer - bugged me more this time. And the ending dragged on a bit much. I did laugh at the proposed series for Eddie - right up the paranormal teen fiction alley. And the part where Katie and Lily get all existential at the end was also amusing. But overall, it just wasn't as funny.I didn't read or listen to this one with my kids, but I know all 3 of them did read it. I will find out how much they enjoyed it and how they think it compares to the others.
—Tricia
JF Andttgrades 4-8tThe intrepid detectives from Whales on Stilts! (Harcourt, 2005) return in another off-the-wall send-up of the Stratemeyer-style series fiction. Jasper, Katie, and Lily are off to the Moose Tongue Lodge and Resort for a short vacation. They discover that the inn is currently hosting a collection of other series characters, including the air-headed Cutesy Dell Twins (shades of Sweet Valley High); the blockheaded Manley Boys; and sad, one-book Eddie Wax, in perpetual mourning for his horse Stumpy. The mystery-solving Hooper Quints go missing, as do most of the lodge's hunting trophies and an heirloom diamond necklace belonging to one of the guests. Search parties are organized, and Jasper and Lily are keen to join in. Katie, however, prefers to hang out by the pool with the Twins. Unexpected dangers await the searchers, from gun-toting kidnappers to poisonous snakes to hungry wolves. Meanwhile, back at the Lodge….The episodic and determinedly nonlinear plot is amusing, but the real fun here is the dialogue–a wild and wonderful mélange of 1950s series-speak (Jupiter's moons!), Valley speak, adolescent trash talk, and mock heroics. As in Lemony Snicket's Unfortunate Events series (HarperCollins), the author frequently addresses readers directly with suggestions, hints, and comments. Underneath all the craziness, there is a subtle and surprisingly poignant message about growth, change, and friendship.
—Tamarah
