I started reading this book strictly as professional research. I had a group of kids in my grade this year who--one after the other--came to my office to tell me about a friend they knew who was cutting and they were worried. It became such a complex series of office visits that it took me a few days to sort out exactly who was cutting. It ended up being this entire group of girls who were all friends, and each of them came to tell me about a different girl until all 7 of them (yes, 7) had been outed as a cutter. I'm not so sure they didn't plan it that way. I think it started with one girl in particular and the trend started to spread until all of the girls were stuck in this situation that most of them wanted out of. Reasearch has shown that cutting is a behavior that speads very very quickly among groups, especially groups of girls.Anyway, so as I was dealing with this issue at school....talking with the girls, alerting parents, coordinating referrals to counselors, etc., I reazlied that while I had a base knowledge of the issue, I really needed to be more well-versed in something that was affecting an unusually large portion of the grade I work with. So I started with this. Unfortunately, it's taken me a while to read, but in the meantime I did read a few other strictly clinical books about cutting and treating those who self-injure. This book appealed to me because it's a more personal version of the issue, focusing on the author's own self-injury, when it began, how it grew, etc. Parents of my students don't want to read the clinical stuff, and since I hate recommending to my parents anything that I haven't read myself, this one will end up on my list of books that I can safely advise parents to read.Parents of kids who self-injure will probably find this a little difficult to read, as it is brutally honest in it's description of how easy it is to cut and hide the evidence, not to mention how easy it is to explain away most of it (i.e. "the cat scratched me", "the razor slipped while I was shaving"). It is also brutally honest in how little parents can do to help, as most of the time the issues that motivate self-injury are generally very deep-seated and coincide with other illnesses such as eating disorders. Truth be told, the one thing I heard from every one of my girls this year was that they weren't sure why they were cutting, and Kettlewell specifically addresses that fact that most don't understand it themselves and it isn't until years later, when they're more self-aware and able to process their feelings and experiences, that they can begin to answer the question of why. And that, is probably the most frustrating thing for the parents. The most they can do is offer love and support, and seek out good professional attention, and the rest has to come with time.
Before I read Skin Game, I looked at some of the reviews and was discouraged by what others had to say. I decided to read the book anyway because I wanted to read a memoir on self-harm/cutting and I couldn’t find any others. I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. Kettlewell did not have a particularly traumatic childhood, which leads her to question whether she’s “allowed” to feel the way she does. Although the author and many readers feel like this is an example of a person who cuts without a good reason, I did not share this opinion. Her family was not close and never talked about emotions or issues; she always felt like an outsider; she struggles with depersonalization and derealization, often describing the “narrator” in her head and feeling like life is a performance. She suffers from anxiety, has serious difficulty with forming truly intimate relationships, and develops an eating disorder. Clearly, this is a girl who suffered substantially and who devalues her emotional experiences because they don’t feel “valid” without a clear trauma driving them. These feelings are not at all uncommon in those who self-harm. It’s easier to understand psychological issues in someone who has experienced horrible things, but it’s important to show that people can have childhoods that aren’t outwardly terrible and can still be hurt by them. I really identified with the author at some points, despite our very different childhoods, and love her description of an overachiever who becomes disillusioned in college and beyond when she realizes that she had not made her own goals in life. The memoir was also stylistically appealing. The language was poetic and evocative, yet not overblown. I liked her frequent questions, as they illuminate her self-doubt. Her descriptions of cutting are surprisingly lovely and perhaps triggering for some, but I didn’t feel they were too explicit or too positive. I thought this was a lyrical and powerful memoir.
Do You like book Skin Game (2000)?
I've read this book in the past, many, many years ago. My recent feelings and thoughts urged me to re-read it.Overall, I liked this book and the messages it brought with it. I enjoyed the painfully truthful ending and the hard-to-hear incidents that the author endured over her life with self-harm and intrusive thoughts. The author did not hold back details that would make the reader cringe, which is exactly how she should shed light on the epidemic of self-mutilation.I took off a star because at times, the writing style was too artistic. The imagery and metaphors lost my attention and made it difficult to understand exactly what the author was trying to portray. However, other times the writing style was so simplistic that it fit the scene the author was trying to describe. I also took off a star because I wish there had been more specific instances within the book. I felt like there needed to be more description of the feelings that accompanied the act of self-harm and her thoughts before and afterwards.This memoir is a very good example of the non-stereotypical ways in which people resort to self-harm. It breaks the mold of the dark, depressed, antisocial person that a lot of people believes to be the perfect example of a self-mutilator. It's also a good example to people just how easy it is to keep this secret hidden from the world and why people try to hide it. Overall, it was a good book with good messages and thoughts to be pulled from it.
—Kristina
Skin Game, a shocking memoir, takes you through the disturbing young life of Caroline Kettlewell, the author. This book will change any readers view of themselves and others. I guarantee that whoever reads Skin Game will really enjoy it, as I did.Caroline Kettlewell is a strong and creative person, but underneath her skin is something so dark and discomforting. The only way to free it is to cut her own flesh where her blood can carry it away. Caroline begins self-harming in middle school and continues doing so until her twenties. Throughout the book she tells stories of friends, boyfriends and a little bit of her family. She shares her daily struggles of how she feels about herself and shows how one act of self-harm can lead to another.Anyone who enjoys a quick read and doesn't mind a slightly disturbing book will definitely enjoy Skin Game. Caroline Kettlewell does an amazing job of bringing honesty to this book and portraying a strong lesson of what really matters in life and of not letting self-consciousness get the best of us.
—Peyton Howe
Caroline is a cutter. Caroline has anxiety. Caroline has over thinking to the extreme. Caroline... does not apologize for her actions and that's what made this an interesting and eye opening book. Caroline has nothing special about her. She had a slightly different life than most people and it shows throughout the beginning of her memoir. It's safe to say that by the time she is a teenager not only is she already completely absorbed in self harming/ cutting herself but she is a downward spiral of bad choices. We see her go through most of her life battling with this choice, how do I deal with the feelings I am having? It's a question she asks herself and the reader throughout the book. I admired her honesty with the reader. She gives you every little detail of what was going through her mind in some situations and in others she point blank says she doesn't remember every single cut or self harming thought. I rooted for her throughout the memoir to make the change to see that she could be different and make better choices. She does, in the end, make a choice and sums everything up very nicely. "...I always could have stopped cutting; that's the plain and inelegant truth. No matter how compelling the urge, the act itself is always a choice. I had no power over the flood tide of emotions that drove me to that brink, but I had the power to decide whether or not to step over."
—Meg
