I am writing this as a guest review for Sugar and Spice Book Reviews Four very powerful stars. This book evoked a lot of emotions from me. I personally went through my own eating disorder in high school and connected with a lot of Claire's thoughts. I think anorexia and eating disorders in general are a much bigger issue than most of us realize. Especially, among teenage girls. It starts off somewhat "innocently" and can spiral out of control before you realize it. This is what happens to Claire."I think there are a lot of people like me, people who want to be happy but can't, who can't figure out why their life isn't good, who can't point to any one reason..."Claire has recently graduated high school and is pursuing a modeling career. She spends her days going to casting calls and constantly being let down. "Think tall, think pretty, think perfect."- This is Claire's mantra.Her family is supportive at first, but eventually try to push her to get a job and set new more "realistic" career goals for herself.Most of this book is spent in Claire's head. She is always judging herself, her peers, her family members, or random strangers on the street. A lot of her thoughts come off as offensive and make you want to hate her.Claire is convinced that she is fat. Any time she does not get a job, she believes that this is the reason. Her goal is to be a size zero like all of her idols. She is obsessed with being skinny, which she associates with beauty. "I have nice hair; I've always had nice hair. Unfortunately, with extensions and weaves and all that, it doesn't matter. Hair is fixable. Fat is not-not on a runway."Claire starts off by limiting her calories and when she is still not "skinny" she limits them further and further until she starts to "fast." She is convinced that she is not anorexic and only doing what she needs to do in order to reach her goal. Her family begins to get concerned, but she dismisses their comments and insists that she is fine. As they watch her deteriorate before their eyes things get really rough at home. Claire becomes bitter and angry. Her moods are affected by her lack of nutrition and she is all over the place."In my head, its only been days since I stopped eating, but in reality, it's been months since I gave my body enough fuel to run properly. I am shutting down and fast. Starvation is not something that takes years to kill; it hits quickly and it hits hard. It has no remorse for its victims, especially not those who willingly take it on in the name of vanity."Claire does not have time for anything but her career. She definitely does not have time for boys. Then, she meets Emmett at a casting call and can't help but be attracted to him. She tries to keep him at a distance but eventually realizes that she both wants and needs him in her life. He becomes her go to person. She relies on him and he doesn't make her feel bad about herself. "Emmett Sinclair will save me in more ways than one, and I'll hate him for it. I'll curse his name and even wish for brief seconds in time that he was dead, or at the very least out of my life for good. Later though, later I'll understand that he saved my life and breathed beauty into my dreams."When it finally seems that she might actually start to get better; Claire is pushed over the edge. The end of this book is crushing and left me feeling ill. This book ends with a gut-wrenching cliffhanger. Thankfully book two is already released. Claire's story is continued in Color Me Pretty. This book is dark in a different kind of way. Usually the heroine is a victim to some kind of darkness she succumbs to. In this book Claire is messed up in the head-the darkness is HER dragging everyone else down. Not that her controlling family and fake friends were helping..... She seems a cold hearted shallow bitch at the start of the book. I could not fathom why Emmett would give her the time of day. Then as the book progresses you see that she is really very sick and her coldness is due to serious insecurities. She picks people apart because she is miserable inside.This is a very sad story that ends in suicide and then rebirth. Luckily I waited until the second one came out to read this or I think I might have pulled my hair out with the cliffhanger at the end. C.M. Stunich LOVES a good cliffhanger!
