About book Not Without My Sister: The True Story Of Three Girls Violated And Betrayed By Those They Trusted (2008)
Not Without My Sister is a memoir written by three sisters who grew up in a cult called The Children of God, or The Family, which if I am not mistaken, still exists or existed in some forms until recently. This is on one hand a critically important book by three women who are indomitable spirits and survivors of extensive sexual, physical, and emotional abuse that began from the time they were infants. The sisters have different mothers but share a father who was a leader in The Family. Central to the book is the underlying narrative of their father, someone who clearly was unable to separate himself from this cult to the extent that he persistently fathered children and created "families" only to consistently abandon his children to the leadership of the cult in pursuit of his own role in the cult. The Family is/was based on rampant sexual abuse, incest, and pedophilia, all of which were "sanctioned" and even strongly required as part, ostensibly, of revering Jesus. The ever-changing "rules" and guidelines for the family were created by David Berg and his wives who maintained a stronghold on everyone in the cult, though much of their work was carried out by surrogates who themselves were abusers and pedophiles and who also profoundly abused their own children through disgusting and horrifically torturous incestuous acts. The effort was to brainwash children from the time they were born, force children to have sex with children, make movies involving child pornography, use even infants for sex, and to make this all work, separate these children and later adults from any semblance of family or any semblance of self. The end result was not surprisingly to cause widespread trauma, psychological damage, and even suicide among many of the "followers," who could not help but be followers because they were born into and could not easily escape the cult.It is an important book and a hard one to read for anyone with a shred of humanity. The women who are the authors, Celeste Jones, Kristina Jones, and Juliana Buhring, are themselves extraordinary women in that they not only survived the unrelenting abuse they suffered, but also went on to reclaim their lives but create healthy new lives and form relationships. They also, it appears, were instrumental in making public the abuses that were going on inside this cult, which often relocated from country to country to escape the law and international attention.I gave this book three stars not because it is not worth reading, but because I found the writing of the book and its organization to be lacking and therefore extremely confusing. It is written in overlapping parts by three of the sisters noted as authors, and could have benefitted from a strong editor reorganizing and clarifying much of the book. As it is, it is extremely difficult to keep track of whose mother, sister, brother, etc is being talked about in one or another part of the book, and there is little organization of any timeline. The constant movements of the cult between one country and another and between one "kind" of training or retraining center or detention camp or other place to which The Family sent its adherents was incredibly confusing to follow due to lack of organization. I appreciated why three sisters would be involved in telling the stories they did; that said, the result without a much firmer editing hand was to leave the reader completely lost at various times. Also, I felt that not enough clear attention was given to the role the sisters and one of their mothers played in getting law enforcement to finally get to this cult, and to the international efforts that were put in play. It was hinted at, but not really clearly explained in depth or with any analysis.Overall, I think worth reading if you want to get a glimpse of this cult, but not terrifically well-organized. That said, do not read this book without a strong stomach.
Children growing up under the domination of a cult are said to know only one thing, the society of the cult. That is not necessarily true. We all have a sense of what is right and wrong. Some of us turn off that knowledge in order to survive. Some rebel.Regardless of what the Children of God cult claims (and I have no idea what it claims these days), it is a cult based on perversion. It calls sex, even sex with children, the ultimate expression of love. It perverts the Gospel of Christ, whose love was to release us FROM sin, not enmesh us in it.There were many that escaped from the domination of this perverse power structure. Some escaped through suicide. Three young women escaped by labeling what happened to them as wrong, and finding a way to survive outside the confines of their world.They paid a price no child should pay, and once they left, they needed to learn to survive in a completely different world than that which they knew.Follow Celeste, Kristina, and Juliana as they struggled through verbal, physical and sexual abuse. Cheer with them as they faced their doubts, and finally escaped. This is a true story. Names have NOT been changed to protect the innocent. It this story, the adults were not innocent, and they should be brought up on charges of sex with children, incest, rape, imprisonment and torture.It was an excellent book, informative and well-written.
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I first came across this book when I accidentally learnt that one of well-known celebrities was born into the cult, then managed to leave. I was curious to find out more and stumbled across the book. I'm really thankful to the sisters for bringing out all those painful memories. Although, luckily I was never in a cult, in many ways I can relate, sometimes even our own small world can compare (a family unit, a 9-5 job where you're not allowed to think and so on). Thank you for your story, I wish I could hug each and every one of you for what happened. I was really happy to learn at the end of your book that all is going well, and each of you have found your place in the world. Hello from Poland!! It was nice to see that little mention of Krakow in the book, as I live only about 60-70km from the city where Kritina got engaged! I'm really thankful I've read the book, and recommend it to anyone just curious or those who enjoy reading true stories.
—Barbara
Very fascinating read, I had never even heard of this group before I decided on a whim to pick this up. Each of the sisters had a distinct voice, Juliana was my favorite of the three because she seemed to be almost forgotten by all of the family members and as a consequence possibly suffered the most. It took a bit for me to get into but towards the end I could not put it down. I hope the girls are doing well now, it is a tragedy that they were born into the situation they were. It's weird reading about cults, they never seem real because they are their own reality.
—Ian Blouin
There was a story to be told here. This could have been an informative and touching journey though the lives of 3 girls born into a cult. But sadly, the story remains to be told. Only Juliana was able to write well enough to hold a reader's interest, but even she had difficulty in the first three quarters of the book. It almost seemed as if they were all programmed to use only certain words to describe their experiences, as if their words were censored.How I made it all the way through escapes me. I suppose I kept hoping...
—Cynthia
