If you drew up a checklist of the necessary components of a B-movie creature-feature, then Meg would tick pretty much every box.Imperfect hero haunted by his past? Check ☑Beautiful heroine who loathes the hero with every fibre of her being right up to the point where she realises that she's never loved anyone more in her life? Check ☑Outrageous monster that no-one except the hero believes exists until it starts eating everyone? Check ☑Comedy deaths of unlikeable characters introduced two minutes earlier? Check ☑The hero surviving a suicide mission to slay the beast? Check ☑Heck, while reading the book I couldn't help but be reminded of that magnum opus of creature features: Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. Don't misunderstand me, I'm aware that Meg predates Shark Attack 3 by some five or six years, but the presence of a few set pieces common to both works led me to compare the two and wonder why I delight in watching the latter while reading the former was more of a trawl. And I think I figured out why.B-movies tend to be fun because they fall into the "so-bad-they're-good" category. Shark Attack 3 transcends such humdrumness, being so sublimely terrible and ridiculous that it becomes a work of art. The actor's ad-libs are left in the finished film, the human antagonists are bad people and worse actors, there's pretty much only one repeatedly used shot of the Megalodon, which is patently a shot of a great white shark crudely blown up in size. And so when someone rides their jet ski into the shark's mouth you can forgive how silly it is and rejoice in the moment.Meg's greatest failing is, ironically, that it's not quite bad enough. Steve Alten seems to be trying to play the book straight: with pages of dialogue given over to dry scientific discussion of a Megalodon's ampullae of Lorenzini; with relatively minor plot points discussed repeatedly so that the reader knows that some incongruous plot detail was a clever point and not an error; when the protagonist dons a pair of night-vision goggles we have to be told that they work by "improving light amplification by using a coating of gallium arsenide on the photocathode of the intensifier." I get it, Steve, you did your research, and it's impressive, but with all this straight-lacery around, a few pages later when a surfer douchebag surfs straight into the Megalodon's mouth it's somehow not as much fun as the aforementioned jet-ski incident.There are some problems with the writing as well, with Steve Alten apparently going to the same writing school as Matthew Reilly. Exclamations points abound. When someone who isn't expecting to be eaten by a sixty foot shark is unexpectedly eaten by a sixty foot shark I get that it's unexpected. I don't need an exclamation mark to tell me to be surprised. There's also a slew of those annoying line breaks mid-dramatic moment, sometimes two or three in a row, which I've never seen the point of. And my last gripe concerns a moment very early on. The first chapter starts strong, with a T-rex in the Jurassic age hunting a herd of Shantungosaurus. Seriously, if the whole book had been as awesome as a freaking T-rex hunting a pack of honest to goodness Shantungosaurus then it would've been a contender for three stars. But wait, there's more! The T-rex follows its quarry into the shallow coastal water only to get stuck in the loose sand. We're in four star territory now, ladies and gents. A hush descends as the hunter becomes the hunted and a shark the size of Texas shows up not for those pansy Shantungosaurus, but for the mother funking T-rex. A shark eating a T-rex is perhaps the greatest shark related thing ever, with the possible exception of a shark genetically spliced with an octopus, but that'd never happen. What could possibly ruin this moment of perfect literature? Only this: after thrusting us so thoroughly into the Jurassic age that I can almost hear the Procompsognathus chirp outside my window, that I half expect a Stegosaurus to walk through my front door, what simile does Steve Alten use to describe a Megalodon charging into a T-rex? It was, and I quote, "like a freight train striking a disabled SUV." Way to preserve the mood, Steve.
****HERE THERE BE SPOILERS****Do you like reading about monsters? More specifically, do you like to read about monsters of the deep that have been thought dead for millions of years? If you do, search no further -- Steve Alten's MEG will not disappoint. From the epic beginning of a T-Rex getting its terrible-lizard ass handed to itself to the absurd gastronomic defeat of the Megalodon, this book keeps the action flowing at a constant rate throughout. There is a really lame extramarital affair sub-plot, but in the end it works, I guess. Enough about that. To the real story.Jonas Taylor, a deep-sea expert, ex-Navy submersible extraordinaire, and also the world's foremost expert on the extinct Megalodon, is called upon to inspect some sensors that have gone off the grid in the Mariana Trench. Problem is, he has already been to the Trench before; it wasn't a pleasant experience for him. During this previous exploration he freaked out, and it cost the lives of two coworkers. Because of this he is kinda considered a pariah in the deep-sea community. Now, the only place he really explores is the lecture circuit, where his theories of the ancient shark being alive are mocked and derided in glorious fashion. If you're still with me, I'm sure your cheeseometer is probably going crazy. Well, you ain't heard nothing yet.So he decides to help a billionaire (really, who else could afford to fix sensors in the deepest part of the ocean?) and go back down into the abyss in one submersible while the billionaire's son goes down in another. Needless to say, it doesn't work out so well for the son. And so begins a tale of revenge. But don't think MOBY DICK, folks. MEG is nowhere in that class. Think JAWS, on steroids. People begin dying left and right in some gruesome ways. I'll let you experience those for yourself. But I will say that if you like every scene of carnage to include the words: entrails, teeth, entrails some more, some more teeth, and, yes, entrails again, then you'll love how creative Alten is with his descriptions. But the Meg does not only attack humans. Whales and subs (yes, I said subs -- not the Jared kind, but the decommissioned WWII variety) are also its prey. At one point I laughed so hard while reading a battle scene between Meg and sub that I snorted...then farted. Don't ask. I'm still trying to figure that one out myself. But Alten does save the best for last. STOP READING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE ENDING!!When the final battle scene takes place, Jonas finds himself in the belly of the beast. Literally, folks. Alten tries to explain this in some pretty creative ways. None of them really make much sense, but, hey, it's his book. All Jonas can do is start hacking at the best with his knife. I'll let you read the book to find out the rest. Like I said, cheese cheese cheese. But it's summer and this type of book is the perfect beach read. RECOMMENDED
Do You like book Meg (2005)?
The following things are very clear about MEG and Steve Alten1. The "research" Alten did for this book was clearly all taken from shark week. From page one you can tell that Alten doesn't know ANYTHING about sharks2. Alten either nows NOTHING about relationships or has NO clue how to write about them... He really shouldn't touch them3. The comparisons between Alten and Crichton were either made by people who a) have never read a Crichton book or b) can't stand the science/sometimes dryness in Crichton books and yes I realize how weird that sounds... While the book is mildly entertain I can't help but wish for the few hours I spent on this book back. It's a very short read but mostly because there is zero depth to it, I am pretty sure I ended up skimming parts of it without meaning to, and know for a fact I didn't miss anything.Action is either poorly written and too short or poorly written and too long, he never found anything close to the balance.The "romance" in the book is just HORRID it's seriously the most rushed, forced, and bs relationship ever. It's so filled with holes I wonder why he even bothered.Finally the worst part of this book is that Alten originally presents a book that is like Jurassic Park, the plot is clearly unbelievable but he takes the time to explain how it MIGHT maybe happen.... Yet when the Meg finally does show up after that all the actual science goes out the window and we are left with a "taste for human blood" type animal that acts completely against all instincts. This isn't the worst sin in the world, movies/books like that can be entertaining, what's so frustrating about it is that Alten insists on trying to explain the science behind everything the shark is doing. I have no doubt in my mind that Alten truly believes he's made a "scientifically sound" action book but it's so insanely far off of actual shark science it feels like it was written by a 5th grader that loves sharks. It's also not in the category of so bad it's good because again Alten really believes his bs is sound.If you have a high suspension of disbelief you can probably ignore all this review and enjoy it for what it is. If you are an adult that likes sharks don't be fooled, this is not Jurassic Park for shark geeks. This is a pathetic attempt to replicate another author that falls short in every way shape and form.It had potential but did not reach it.... at all
—Megan Pearson
Two of my favorite things in life are dreaming about what would happen if a megalodon really existed and watching movies about sharks - no matter how bad they are. My boyfriend bought me this book as it seemed like a dream come true for me. The front cover even pictures a megalodon fighting a tyrannosaurus! I liked the book for what it was, but I'm not sure I will ever revisit it. The characters were lacking and I thought the story dragged in a few places. Other than that, it read as a novelization of what I assume would be my favorite B-movie if it were made into a film. Not surprisingly, my current favorite B-movie is Shark Attack 3: Megalodon.
—Kristen Pfaff
This was a three star read for about 80% of the book for me. I only liked one character, and that was Mac, the hero's best friend. He had a laid back but capable feel to him that I really enjoy in a character when I read these types of books. He could release the tension in just about any situation with an inappropriate comment, but he also risked his life to save others, including the hero, several times.The main character/hero was Jonas Taylor, and I didn't really like him for most of the story. I didn't dislike him; I just didn't like him either. Something terrible happened to him during a trip into the Marina Trench seven years ago, and that changed him quite a bit and caused him to lose his nerve. He became sort of a shell of his former self. Several characters mention this to him during the story, and remind him of the sort of man he used to be. I kept finding myself wishing the events of the story had taken place seven years ago so I would have had someone more like Jonas' former self to deal with as a hero. I was also annoyed with the women in this book. All ever seemed to be doing was pouting, plotting, or seducing, but I didn't have to put up with them much because they were barely in the book, so I wasn't annoyed too often.There were a few other things that bugged me like the constant descriptions of everthing, (I don't need to know what the hero's binoculars are coated with) and the way the author felt the need to repeat himself constantly. I get it already! The shark is sixty feet long and weighs over thirty tons!However, none of the things I mentioned ever gave me that itchy "I can't wait for this story to be over" feeling that I sometimes get when reading, and the author made sure to sprinkle healthy doses of action in throughout the book so I never got a chance to get bored.Now that I'm done with the main review, I will explain why this three star book got a four:The last 20% of this book was pure entertainment! I was at the edge of my seat, and it made me completely fall in love with Jonas as the action hero! I finally got a glimpse of who he used to be, and let me tell you, He was badass! (Sorry for the cursing, but that is the only way to desrcibe what he does accuratley.) :) The last 20% also made sure that I'm going to read the next book in the series. It's not that it was groundbreaking or even plausible, but I read to be entertained, and I was so entertained that it raised my opinion of the entire book.If you like creature features, books about sharks, or you're just in the mood for some mindless fun, then I would read it if I were you. The entire book is fun, but trust me, the last bit makes the whole thing worth a read. :D
—♥♡¢σσкιє♥♡ (Krystle)
