About book Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey (2000)
Bedingungslose Aufrichtigkeit ist das größte Geschenk.Betty DeGeneres wächst konservativ in den 1930er Jahren in einem behüteten und gleichermaßen verschwiegenen Elternhaus auf. Die Familie ist füreinander da, allerdings wird sich emotionalen Kontroversen eher mit Stillschweigen gewidmet. Als Betty, inzwischen selbst stolze Mutter zweier Kinder, eines Nachmittags mit ihrer Tochter Ellen zu einem Strandspaziergang aufbricht, ahnt sie nicht, dass die kommende halbe Stunde ihr Weltbild und damit ihre Einstellung zu gesellschaftlichen Normen und Menschenrechten vollkommen verändern wird. Denn Ellen gesteht ihrer Mutter, dass sie Frauen liebt. Ein Schock für Betty. Nichtsdestotrotz zögert sie keine Sekunde, ihrer Tochter für ihr Vertrauen und ihre Aufrichtigkeit zu danken und ihr ihre unerschütterliche Mutterliebe entgegenzubringen. Dass Ellen in den nachfolgenden Jahrzehnten zu einer der angesehensten Entertainerinnen der USA mit einzigartiger Vorbildrolle und Betty zur engagierten Aktivistin für die Rechte Homosexueller werden soll, weiß 1978 noch niemand.In ihrem Buch "Love, Ellen" blickt Betty DeGeneres auf ihr Leben als Ehefrau und Mutter zurück. Dabei reflektiert sie unumwunden eigene Schwächen und erzählt voller Stolz, wie sehr sie dank ihrer Tochter Ellen DeGeneres zu einem toleranteren Menschen mit einer Herzensangelegenheit geworden ist.Die von Betty DeGeneres beschriebene Achterbahn des Lebens könnte turbulenter kaum sein. Von der jungen Frau auf der Suche nach der familiären Erfüllung über die Schockstarre nach dem Comingout ihrer Tochter bis hin zur international beliebten Repräsentantin einer Gesellschaft, die akzeptiert, anstatt verurteilt.Offen und direkt spricht die Autorin nicht nur die Missstände einer modernen Gesellschaft an, sondern sie gesteht nicht weniger ihre eigene Unwissenheit, Angst und Unsicherheit. Betty DeGeneres lässt Nähe zu und gewährt damit Einblicke, die bewegen. Bewegen, etwas verändern zu wollen. Für mich eine unglaubliche Stärke dieses Buches.Mit ihrer Geschichte möchte die Autorin und Mutter einer homosexueller Tochter zeigen, wie schwer und gleichzeitig unheimlich befreiend es ist, sich selbst einzugestehen, dass Liebe etwas Grenzenloses ist.Ihr persönlicher Hintergrund macht sie zu einer der besten Botschafterinnen dieser Mission. Denn Betty DeGeneres wirft stets einen Blick auf das Ganze. Sie kann das Hadern und den Schreck absolut nachvollziehen, doch erhebt dabei ihre Stimme vehement gegen Ignoranz und Ablehnung.Mit einer Vielzahl von berührenden Geschichten, die ihr Menschen im Laufe ihrer Tätigkeit als Mitglied von P-FLAG (Parents, Friends and Family of Lesbians and Gays) erzählt haben, unterstreicht sie die Wichtigkeit einer für Gleichberechtigung stehenden Gesellschaft. Eine Mission, die sie unermüdlich verfolgt. Sie räumt mit gängigen Vorurteilen auf und macht Mut — sowohl den Homosexuellen selbst als auch deren Familien und Freunden. In einer Welt zwischen Selbstverständlichkeit und rigoroser Religiosität eine nach wie vor notwendige Aufgabe. Eines ist sicher: Die großherzige Philanthropie, welche in jedem einzelnen Kapitel mitschwingt, setzt Ausrufezeichen und ergreift während des Lesens. In der Summe ein Buch, dessen Botschaft ausdrücklicher, persönlicher und aufrichtiger nicht sein könnte: Die Liebe zwischen Eltern und Kindern ist etwas Bedingungsloses, das als unerschütterlicher Fels in der Brandung gesellschaftlicher Spannungsfelder stehen muss. Nichts ist kostbarer als Familie und Freunde, die einen akzeptieren, wie man ist.
Betty DeGeneres writes with such heart and emotion, and is a compassionate and wise woman. I really appreciated seeing through her motherhood lens, and experiencing bits of her life and of Ellen's through her stories. The first part of the book focuses on Betty's upbringing, with the second part discussing more about Ellen's experiences coming out prominently through her television show, and the third part focusing on Betty's experience as an activist. While the writing wasn't always linear and the structure sometimes felt like a meandering journey, Betty's character came through clearly, and it was truly wonderful to get to know her through this book.I appreciate how the book reminds us that celebrities are people (and that mothers are people!) who have their own life experiences and complications that guide them to do/say/believe specific things. Betty's honesty about her life experiences (positive and negative) shed great light into her character, and helped illustrate how there's often great potential to learn from life experiences, and to channel that into good for the help and benefit of others and yourself.One of my favorite things about this book is the opportunity to experience the truly monumental and historical things that happened in the media and in our national conversations surrounding LGBTQ rights. Ellen is so incredibly brave, and her willingness to come out on a national stage despite the great risks really changed the conversation, and provided space for so many others to follow suit. Her bravery helped so many others develop the courage to be honest and authentic, and expanded opportunities for LGBTQ people around the country. The portions of the book about this event made me want to find every media clip and historical document available, to patch together a true snapshot of Ellen's historical coming out, and of Betty's experience as the first straight national spokesperson for the HRC's National Coming Out Project! (Dissertation, anyone?)
Do You like book Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey (2000)?
This book had me filled with mixed emotions. As a person who has homosexuals in their family and as friends, I think they should be allowed to love and marry whoever the hell they want to. I've never understood discrimination. Why discriminate? We're all made of flesh and blood. Every single one of us. Tis book really helped me embrace more knowledge about homosexuals. I felt some of the references were very useful for me. I would like to belong to P-FLAG an give support to those who need it. I am a straight woman in a partnership with a man, but I'm not narrow minded in thinking THAT is the only way to live or love. Love is Love. The other side of the coin was the mother/daughter relationship. I was envious of the wonderful relationship Betty and Ellen have. It made my heartbreak knowing my relationship with my mother will never be like that. The damaged ruins of what we have can never be repaired, and that made me more envious of them. I'm glad there are wonderful mothers in the world...and I'm particularly glad that Ellen's mother is one of them. One who can be so supportive and accepting, and have her daughter's back through the worst of times, and ultimately in the best of times.I would recommend this book to anyone. As a supporter of gays and lesbians, it's eye opening deeper into the meaning of what being gay is. To any homosexual, this book is comforting and reassuring. Betty truly has a way with words and advice. To the people against homosexuality or who have homosexual in their families and are struggling with the new information, this book is powerful knowledge. A tool to learn from and with. Please, read this book to try and be a part of your loved ones life. Thank you to Betty for having such wonderful advice and wisdom. And thank you for sharing it.
—Dawn Mateo
I picked this book up after I heard country singer Chely Wright mention it when she appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. She said this book was a great support to her in coming out as a lesbian. I love Ellen and her mom Betty so I knew I had to read this book.Love, Ellen was about more than just Ellen and Betty's relationship. It's really a memoir of Betty's whole life. Luckily, she has had an interesting life. After she divorced Ellen's father, she married a man she refers to only as "B" who was abusive to both her and Ellen. Of course, there is a lot about Ellen's life in here too. Betty quotes letters Ellen wrote to her through the years and she writes in detail about the period in Ellen's life when she decided to come out publicly as a lesbian. If you are a fan of Ellen's brother Vance DeGeneres you should know that there is a little bit about him in the book but it's definitely more about Ellen and Betty.This book was written when Ellen and Anne Heche were still together and Anne was still masquerading as someone not completely bonkers (in my opinion). I cringed a little every time Betty referred to Anne as her other daughter. However, that's just one more way in which Betty is completely supportive of Ellen - she welcomed Ellen's partner with open arms right from the beginning of their relationship.Betty DeGeneres is an inspiring example of a woman who loves her children unconditionally. Betty isn't perfect and she knows that. She writes about her mistakes as well as her successes in life. This is a wonderful book for pretty much everyone - Ellen fans, Betty fans, LGBT people and allies.
—Rachel
As a fan of Ellen Degeneres, and the mother of a gay daughter, I found this story to be interesting in that I enjoyed learning more about Ellen's early career. Betty's journey to accept Ellen's homosexuality was something I didn't relate to as I had hoped, perhaps because we do not share the same religious background. I felt that the author repeated herself a lot in the praising of homosexuality. So much so that I started skipping pages. One thing that we do have in common is that we love our daughters very much. And it was inspiring to see a woman in her middle years throw herself into a cause she could be passionate about.
—Teresa
