Quotable:Time doesn’t obey our commands. You cannot make it holy just because it is disappearing.The idea that the dead might not be utterly gone has an irresistible magnetism… This was the mourner’s secret position, it seemed to me: I have to say this person is dead, but I don’t have to believe it.A death from a long illness is different from a sudden death… What studies said is that I would begin to “accept” my mother’s death more quickly that I would have in the case of a sudden loss – possibly because I experienced “anticipatory grief” while she was still alive. But until that acceptance arrived, it was hard to bear as any other major loss.“If mourning is denied outlet, the result will be suffering. At the moment our society is signally failing to give this support and assistance… The cost of this failure in misery, loneliness, despair and maladaptive behavior is very high. “ –Geoffrey Gorer author of Death, grief and mourningMaybe it’s not a coincidence that in Western countries with fewer rituals, the bereaved report more physical ailments in the year following a death. I thought I was prepared for my mother’s death.I knew it would happen.Yet the reality of her being dead was so different from her death. Written from a broken, but healing heart, O'Rourke's book hit close to home. Not so much her observations before her mother died, but those waves of grief that slowly ebb yet never disappear completely.I would highly recommend this for anyone working their way through initial grief or years after the grief has evened out...for anyone with a loved one in hospice...for those who participate in grief ministry...
Do You like book Long Goodbye: A Memoir Of Grief (2012)?
A well-researched, thought-provoking, lyrical study of death and grief.
—Sara
just never really connected with this one....
—boredomblues
Intensely powerful and sad. Strong stuff.
—burubalabala
