About book Knowing Your Value: Women, Money, And Getting What You're Worth (2011)
Just not for me - I didn't find the style of writing appealing, her message is for those who want to be at the top and want to work 24/7, and eventually the conversation will be around what the cost has been for all these women. I am glad someone is paying that price for those who want to follow in their footsteps - but I am not one of them. I heard Mika speak last week, read her book, have watched the Morning Joe show and decided that she is in a position and in a field that she views has required her to advocate and be very self focused. I find her message to be one of self interest and not one of good leadership, team building, leading teams, or valuing others. She has found herself having to be crude, rude, pushy, "one of the boys", etc. I know that someone has to do it if we want women at the top - I don't find it pleasant as a representation of my gender (frankly, I find men in this role as asses also) I know it's not an "either/or" message but many points in the book focus on stories that Mika or others "did wrong" in order to have the personalized success they wanted. Mika tells a story of how not to negotiate for a salary (and eventually gets what she wants), she talks about using her network to the fullest (which much of hers had to come from her family being so connected but she isn't transparent about this), she talks about being willing to walk from a job if you don't get what you want (not everyone can do that), she talks about being so tired and working so many hours she falls down the stairs with her daughter and the baby breaks a thigh. Although I value the risk and vulnerability it takes for women to say their lessons learned, but do we need those kinds of lessons? I appreciate that she tells women they need to be sponsored, and not just mentored. I hope that we can write about how this can be done as in my 30+ years of experience have me in a position that women willing to learn how to accept their value for who they are and not at the expense of other women - are ones that will eventually mentor and sponsor. Ones that get over being threatened or jealous. More power to all these younger women who are opening many doors for women and I appreciate this. I believe there is a cost as well. Her focus on what women need to do to be like men (although she says not to be), rather than focusing on men to learn skills such as balancing family, being equal, supporting in many ways, helping women be at the table etc. is a piece that I believe is being missed. I thought this book was good. I could definitely see mistakes I have made called out in this book.One piece of advice I hadn't seen before was to negotiate during or before the budget is finalized. This encouraged me to speak up sooner about re-negotiating my rate and it worked! My boss said "We are finalizing the budget now, let me see what I can do" Then she came back and said that she was able to put the pay increase in the budget! Not finished negotiating yet but that's one less obstacle!
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Absolute must read for any career woman - no matter the field!
—tita
