A sort of modern, lame, gender reversed, Sottish version of sleeping beauty. I apologise for the length of this rant review, but I have augmented it with pictures, and lyrics from the eighties.WOW! So I just read The Darkest Night and you may have read in my review how peeved I was at the stupid obsessive love between the virginal girl with no personality called Bella Swan, Anastasia Steel, Ashlyn and her hunk of brooding man meat. Well this book was basically EXACTLY THE EFFING SAME! But it was far more lighthearted and I am HOPING that Karen Marie Moning wrote this book as a satire. If so then she is a comedy genius!Basically the romance in this novel was so sugary I wasn't sure whether I should laugh or vomit. I just did not understand how the same author who created JZB and Mac could come up with such total saps as Drustan and Gwen. While reading it I felt like Bruce being forced to eat that cake:It was all just way too much for me. This book is about a time travelling Scottish laird. Sorta. Maybe being from Scotland made it a bit too cringe for me; but when reading time travel I want something more interesting than angsty characters pining for each other. The first thing, of many, that bugged me was: Gwen's vapid personality: You know, Gwen is supposed to be a scientist, she has just traveled back in time, but her mind is blissfully empty; she has gone back to 'the age of discovery' but she has no desire to discuss the advances we have discovered since then with them! SHE SIMPLY HAS NO CURIOSITY. UGH. GIVE THEM SOME PENICILLIN. TELL THEM ABOUT EMILY PANKHURST. IMAGINE ALL THE POSSIBILITIES.Hermoine can't stand Gwen.If Gwen is the girl who is going back 500 years with the opportunity to show how far we have advanced then I AM EMBARRASSED AND FURIOUS WITH FATE because, although she is slightly more cocky than was expected from women back then; there is little else aught different with her. She wants a man. She wants babies. She is not interested in pursuing her career. Most of the time it felt like she actively switched off her brain. Even Clint is disgusted.To be honest I think Moning is being harsh on 15th century woman, I am sure that although they lived in a much more chauvinistic environment, I doubt they were all misogynists or dumb blow up dolls. This is the era that gave us Joan of Arc for gods sake (give or take a hundred years and lets overlook her horrid death please).But she is insinuating that an insipid virgin like Gwen would go back in time and simply take the men by storm with her feisty modern ways. Like WOW she knows who Isaac Newton is; she must be strong and smart... but please don't talk about physics in the morning because it hurts her head and she is desperately trying to daydream of new ways to ensnare a man using her body. Gwen's lack of 'experience':"Her virginity was hardly presented in the best light when she kept snarling at every man she met."Gwen is, of course, gagging to be rid of her virginity, which is strange as she is in her mid-twenties and hasn't found an opportunity so far. Apparently because she hasn't met a guy she is attracted to (then why plan a thousand dollar trip just to jump on some stranger??). Her desperation is offensive and pathetic in equal measure. I have friends who are virgins and they are so by choice...obviously I don't judge them, because they own their own choices. But the way Gwen acts is like a teenager who thinks her virginity is an embarrassing disease.In fact the whole reason she went to Scotland was to 'find her cherry picker', however she accidentally booked herself onto a geriatric bus tour (oh how silly, but honestly can you expect a woman to curl her hair, apply lipstick, and work a computer?!). Therefore she only met a man when she fell through a hole in the ground and landed on sleeping beauty Drustan. "If he treated her to a few more of those cocky strokes, she might have her first real orgasm without even sacrificing her cherry."ummmm...what?I beg your pardon? Did I hear you right, Gwen? You are a beautiful, intelligent, adventurous woman in your mid-twenties and not only are you a virgin, but you haven't even had an orgasm? It doesn't necessarily require a man honey... although I am beginning to think that, in your case, changing a light bulb would require a man. The sex scenes: (made me want to gag)Ok so my rant about the sex scenes shall be quite short, unlike Drustans 'schmenis', which is apparently so large it cant fit inside of modern jeans. Something to do with wearing kilts all the time. (Here is a very quick tangent; why does Moning think people in the fifteenth century were smaller than now??? Drustan mentions how he draws attention because of his height and calls us 21st century peeps 'wee folks, the lot of you.' Which is strange because it's not the case; people were much smaller five hundred years ago.)So anyhow the sex:""Lass show me your breasts. Be quit of this thing, lest I tear it to shreds in my haste""Well obviously this is Moning releasing her inner comedian again, because it certainly made me LOL. But I am still not at all sure what the attraction is with these neanderthal, over possessive, sappy and spoiled males???Anyway the dialogue during sex was something else:""Gwen? Do you want me?""God, yes!""Did you want me in the blue trews? Did you want me then too?""Yes.""Do you feel the heat when I touch you? Does it hit you like a thunderbolt?""Yes.""Remember that song by Meatloaf, 'Took the words right out of my mouth'? [Boy:] On a hot summer night,would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?[Girl:] Will he offer me his mouth?[Boy:] Yes.[Girl:] Will he offer me his teeth?[Boy:] Yes.[Girl:] Will he offer me his jaws?[Boy:] Yes.[Girl:] Will he offer me his hunger?[Boy:] Yes.[Girl:] Again, will he offer me his hunger?[Boy:] Yes![Girl:]And will he starve without me?[Boy:] Yes![Girl:] And does he love me?[Boy:] Yes.[Girl:] Yes.[Boy:] On a hot summer night,would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?[Girl:] Yes.[Boy:] I bet you say that to all the boys."Well the dirty talk in the book was a lot less cool than that dialogue, but equally cheesy. "He was the last MacKeltar left to sire sons. He glanced speculatively at Gwen."Most ladies would find this creepy, but for Gwen it set her ovaries on fire with possessive and obsessive lust. SO FINALLY! My last peeve was with Gwens desire to be a wife and get knocked up:I will keep this snappy, because I don't really need to explain that I have no problem with procreation or woman wanting babies, I just think there is more out there. I would enjoy a book about a happily married mother of five, in her forties, battling it out against vampires or a teenage mum showing that she can can kick zombie ass and read the Gruffolo to her baby! BUT I am not interested in reading about Gwen disregarding her education and the choices given to her, so she can roll into bed with a caveman and happily live out her life like a good little wifey. That is boring.If getting knocked up is the thing Gwen is most excited about, after discovering time travel, then I don't like her. This is Gwen's conversation with her ovaries seconds after falling on to Drustan in the cave: "Aw, kiss him, Gwen, clamored a hundred perky eggs. Shut up, she rebuked. We don't even know him, and until moments ago we though he was dead. That's no way to start a relationship. Who's asking for a relationship? Kisskisskiss! her babies-in-waiting insisted.""...Drustan was bending over her, gazing down with so much love in his eyes that she gasped and began to cry." THE END
I am on Highlander high and these books are going to be my fix! I absolutely LOVED Kiss of the Highlander The cover - my oh my can it be more hot?! Love the pic, and I'd sure like to meet that model just to see how good a Highlander kiss can be :)))) The story - I loved the whole concept, and it was well written, mixing time travel with druids and magic... Just wow! It's about Gwen, an american girl on vacation in Scotland. She is in search of a cherry picker and so far no man has been worthy enough. So one day, during a field trip, she falls into a cave and stumbles upon a body, a perfectly preserved specimen of human male perfection I guess you could say at that point that her cherry picking quest was definitely over Drustan awakens in this new world, he doesn't know what happened to him, and now must find a way to undo everything and restore the Keltar clan. Drustan - I so loved him one of the favorite Highlanders I've read <3 He is the head of his clan, and bearer of the druid lore. They have served and protected mankind for centuries, and it is his duty that his line continues, and the druid knowledge be perserved. Unfortunately, he awakens in the future, and finds his home destroyed, meaning that his line was broken and the lore forgotten. That's why he comes up with a plan that could make Gwen hate him forever... Gwen - a great heroine She's instantly attracted to Drustan (can't blame the girl) and she falls for him in the short time they had before he found his home. She decides to give her virginity to him, and they "do it" in the middle of the stone circle (some druid stuff). They form a bond, he vows love to her, and then attempts to go back in time to undo what has happened to him. BUT, the plan fails (doesn't it always), and Gwen finds herself alone in the past, with Drustan and his family believing her a crazed woman wanting to trap him in marriage XD Overall - This was such a great read, it really got me by surprise! I have to say the author's writing is waaaay waaaay better than the first one, and I'm so glad! I loved the fact that for almost first half of the book Gwen thought Drustan was a madman with his claimes that he's from the past, and almost all the second half Drustan believed Gwen was the crazy one with her claims of being from the future XD This was very well written, I could see that this kind of plotline could be developed in so many ways (bad ones at that), and am so glad this turned out the way it did :) Favorite scenes - when Drustan awakens and starts dressing himself, and Gwen notices the million and one knives on him loool- Drustan's first car ride- when they went shopping, him trying on jeans - HOT scene!! - he discovers his castle's ruins and is heartbroken - Gwen's first conversation with the Drustan from the past XD- when they lock him up to have the second conversation - the ending, oh how that got me in tears, it was just PERFECT!!!!
Do You like book Kiss Of The Highlander (2001)?
4.75 StarsRepeating myself yet again with this series - but I absolutely love these books.This was a freakishly sexy version of Sleeping Beauty I suppose and I loved every minute of it. It was extremely sweet and I am now at the point that I would kill to be tupped by a Scottish Highlander...come find me boys!Drustan will most definitely be in my dreams tonight - see you soon sweet thing.Favourite quotes:1 "But this is no safe cherry picker, Gwen thought, growing more concerned by the moment. This man looks like a cherry tree chopper-downer"2. "Let's get something straight, MacKeltar. I am not going home with you. I am not going to bed with you, and I am not wasting one more moment arguing with you.""I promise not to mock you when you change your mind, lass."3. "If aught must be lost, 'twill be my honor for yours. If one must be forsaken, 'twill be my soul for yours. Should death come anon, 'twill be my life for yours. I am Given."
—~E~ Riverina Romantics
5 Gigantic Stars!!! FANTASTICAL!! It was worth all the anxiety I felt for reading out of order. A few pages in and all that OCD flew out the window!! “If aught must be lost, ‘twill be my honor for yours. If one must be forsaken, ‘twill be my soul for yours. Should death come anon, ‘twill be my life for yours. I am Given.”This book had everything and then some that I look for in a story. A larger than life hero, who is cocky, funny, protective, loving, worships his woman and is SCRUMPTIOUS! Drustan MacKeltar...RAWRRRRRR!!! A heroine who stands on her own will, she's mouthy, pushy, smart, challenges her man and loves him beyond reason! Gwen Cassidy...AMAZING!! A story that captivates, charms, tugs at the heart! Passion, desire and love that is breathtaking and heart-pounding...YES!!! Secondary characters that play a huge role in the plot and are so intriguing, you hope that you get more of them, in future books or stories of their own. I was overwhelmed with emotion while reading this book, but the last few pages made my eyes so wet, I could barely read to the end. I damn near passed out with Kip clutched in my hands! When I could finally breathe, I began to smile and I still can't get that shit-ass grin off my face. Thank you to my dear friend Kristen, who convinced me to step out of the box and read out of order. It was no easy task for her to do, but I trust her and knew she wouldn't steer me wrong. Not to mention all of my other GR friends who agreed with her and encouraged me to go for it. You were all right, I didn't miss a thing. This books starts what is a mini-series within a series. It was everything you all said it would be and more. Thank you!!Finally to Kris, who told me about her love for this series a while back. Why I didn't listen to you is beyond me. It's always been in the back of my mind and your profile pic was a daily reminder. You know me better than I know myself.Dark Highlander here I come!!
—Karla
This is a strange series for me. I keep thinking it’s going to get a lot better and it just gets modestly better or considerably worse. Luckily this one falls under the modestly better category. Here we have the story of Drustan and Gwen. Drustan is a Highlander Druid living way back when while Gwen lives in modern times. In a weird and wacky moment she finds herself in a very interesting “position” the first time she meets Drustan. He finds himself thrown into the 20th century trying to get a grasp on everything around him from then on. Gwen thinks he’s a bit off his rocker but tries to help him out nonetheless. Some of that is funny, not laugh out loud hilarious or anything, but it’s got a bit of a cute side to it all.Like many of KMM’s highlander romances, the heroine is beyond brilliant and the hero is nearly too gorgeous to look at. Problem with this: the heroine rarely acts smart even though she’s described as genius material, has a great job doing genius-like stuff but isn’t really all that invested in it and is always dissatisfied big time with her love life. They all want to find the great guy and have lots of babies right off the bat with them. Same holds true with Gwen. That’s all well and good but it turns into a cookie cutter formula romance by the third book in a series. As for Drustan he’s too beautiful for words and that got annoying because it’s repeated so many times. Sure he’s hot but he’s borderline boy toy sometimes because of his excessive hotness. It could’ve been toned down somewhat and more focus given on other things he could do. The love story between the two though is generally good and the steam is very hot but it drags in some parts –despite Drustan being a fabulous kisser, Moning highlighted that attribute quite well ;) Drustan’s Druidry and the Highland legends mix well to give a fairy-tale fantasy kind of world that’s continued from the first book. It was interesting but there was too much narration about it dragging the book down more often than not. There are a few side stories that start to develop between Drustan’s dad Sullivan and the housekeeper Nell as well as Drustran’s dark and mysterious brother Dageus. The main story though always remains the focus so these additional stories don’t detract from that and don’t feel like filler either. Both time periods are well represented and there are some funny moments with Gwen in his century and Drustan in hers.The ending is too sugary sweet for me but overall the story is alright so it just makes a 4 star rating. If you liked Circenn’s story in The Highlander's Touch this one is about the same.
—Eastofoz
