*** FIRST UPDATE, LESS THAN SEVENTY PAGES IN, 10.15.14 ***oh, m'god, y'all, i'm not sure i'm going to be able to DO this. i was blown away by lavyrle spencer's Morning Glory -- a POEM of a book; broke my heart. so when i saw a shelf full of spencer at my local Goodwill a few months back, i picked out some paperbacks. hardly five pages in to this one, i was ready to throw it against the wall. it has aged BADLY, people. oh, how, you ask? THE STYLE:-raspberry pumps paired with matching leather gloves-the cute fiance sports "naturally curly brown hair, crew-cut on top and trailing in thinned tendrils over his collar." MULLET COUNT: 1-kitchen newly redone with white formica cabinets and a new vinyl floor in shades of seafoam blue, the new furniture a blend of smoky blues and apricots; "the window treatments were lavish above, simple below: great billowing valances in a busy blue-and-apricot floral, paired with pleated horizontal blinds of pale apricot."-the cute son's "hair was black, like his father's, and dressed with something sheeny, spiked straight up and finger-long on top, slicked back over the ears and trailing in natural curls below his collar in back. randy was an eye-catcher. . . . he adopted the rough-cut look of the unshaved young pop singer george michael." PEOPLE. WHEREFORE ALL THE MULLETS. I CAN'T. SOMEONE NEEDS TO ETERNAL SUNSHINE MY MIND OF CIRCA 1980 TO 1999. MULLET COUNT: 2 MANY-mom's favorite shop clerk, who creates "a positive first impression when customers walked into the store," sports "sculptured garnet fingernails bearing tiny rhinestone nail ornaments that flashed as her hand rested on the railing."-"When Bess came to the door Paula Abdul was blasting 'Opposites Attract' from the CD player, and Randy was standing before his dresser adjusting the knot in a skinny gray leather tie. He was dressed in baggy, pleated trousers, a silvery-gray double-breasted sport coat and a plaid shirt in muted shades of purple, gray and white. He'd put something on his hair to make it glossy and though he'd said he'd had it cut, as promised, it still hung to his collar in natural ringlets . . . looking spiffy for once." <-- ≠ SPIFFYTHE LOWBROW:-personal libraries consisting of five stephen king novels. y'all, i love stephen king as much as the next book junkie, but i also kept my copy of to kill a mockingbird from the time i read it with my fifth-grade class, you know?-a Fancy Meal consisting of: (1) cheese ball with Ritz crackers, (2) beef stroganoff, (3) corn pudding. i mean, on their own, maybe? but, like, in a menu? . . . and "corn pudding" = "nutritious vegetable side"? . . .-a Buick Park Avenue and a Cadillac Seville are the motorcars of choice for conspicuous, fairly tasteless middle-american consumption. take note, Heartland!!THE HELLISH SEXISM:-he's bitter that she "left her family" -- read: she decided in her thirties that she wanted a career and so started taking college classes during the day, which meant she wasn't there to single-handedly raise their two children and warm her husband's fucking toaster strudel for him. UM. NO.-his cheating isn't what RUINED the marriage, you see; he only cheated because he felt NEGLECTED when she went to COLLEGE. my spork is at the ready. his jugular is looking REALLY soft.-she's constantly turning down food because she's ten pesky pounds overweight! <-- see what the author did here? she maintained the heroine's necessary neurotic self-loathing and body dysmorphia (we aren't allowed to ever be at peace with our bodies; it's a WAR, ladies), but only TEN pounds overweight is code to the rest of us ladies reading this novel -- "oh, she's GORGEOUS! ten pounds is NOTHING! i've got twenty-five extra pounds i could give you right now!"-the husband's mistress is "ten pounds underweight." women versus women, no one's healthy, everyone's either too fat or too thin. well, every woman, anyway.-cute fiance on gender roles: "you'd be surprised how many girls today can't even boil water. when i found out [my fiancee] could cook i told my mother, i think i've found the girl of my dreams." darling, i hope you step out on her if she ever leaves the frying pan soaking in the sink in favor of community college evening classes!!-"toward the end of their marriage, when she'd been caught up in the rigors of studying for her degree and maintaining a domicile and a family of four, he had said during one of their fights, 'look at you, you don't even take care of yourself anymore. all you ever wear is blue jeans and sweatshirts, and your hair hangs in strings. you didn't look like that when i married you!" at which point i shot him in the chest with a copy of something by betty friedan and a book cannon. RIP, douchebag.THE GROSS RACIST UNDERTONES:-cute fiance is "all american," which we all know is code for white (because people of color aren't allowed to be totally american; they're fake, part american).-it was super cute when as a child the daughter dragged around the neighborhood a little BLACK doll she called gertrude -- get it? she's WHITE! the doll was BLACK! kids. *benevolent head shake*THE GROSS HOMOPHOBIC UNDERTONES:-the host at the restaurant was "effeminate," y'all. our heroine is raising an eyebrow.THE GENERAL GROSS EARLY NINETIES BOURGEOIS/CHRISTIAN RIGHT MORALS THAT ARE SUFFOCATING AND HATEFUL AND NARROW:-mom: "i can't pretend this is anything but terrible, our only daughter and a shotgun wedding." oh, shut up. i'm sorry you're horrified. but once you're done pulling your perfectly coiffed head out of your ass, maybe you can realize that it's not all about you playing Real-Life Dollies and that your child needs your support as she navigates several major life changes simultaneously. m'kay?-mom has been exclusively seeing "keith" for three years now but won't let keith spend the night, because her deadbeat nineteen-year-old, randy, might figure out she's sexually active. oh, sighhhhhhhhhhhhh. now i see why mom is so bent out of shape about daughter getting knocked up out of wedlock. THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT SEX HERE.THE WEIRD, POORLY CHOSEN MOMENTS TO INFUSE BACKGROUND DETAIL WITH "ART":-"on saturday night, bess took pains with her hair. It was nearly shoulder-length, its shades of blonde as varied as an October prairie.* she curled it only enough to give it lift, and pouffed it out behind her ears, where it billowed like the sleeves of a choir gown caught in the wind."http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236...* book is set in greater minneapolis metropolitan area.WHAT WE HAVE LEARNED FROM THE FIRST SIXTY-SEVEN PAGES OF THIS NOVEL:-using labels and explicitly dressing your characters doesn't often paint them as the elegant paragons of style you want them to be, author: rather, it dates them immediately and shows the limits of your class experience, which can be awkward and weird and will immediately take bunches of your audience out of the story.-same with descriptions of decor, popular-cultural icons, favorite brands and labels -- don't go into it unless you're cool with your book written in 2014 only sounding relevant 'til mid-2015.-take a feminist theory class. i'm not saying you can't have sexist complications and heartland mores in your book; i'm just saying you might not want to make it quite so clear you're CHAMPIONING them is all.*** HOMEWORK ***watch the first season of Mad Men. now drive to broadway, go to TKTS, and watch Jersey Boys. (1) in which show were women treated as second-class citizens? (ANSWER: Both) (2) in which show were the writers AWARE they were treating women as second-class citizens? (ANSWER: Mad Men) (3) which show used the treatment of women as a commentary on sexism? (ANSWER: Mad Men)(4) which show's writers had a used condom, a cracked leather jacket stinking of body odor, and a meatball sub where its sense of nuance and egalitarianism were supposed to be? (ANSWER: Jersey Boys)now, go forth and kick ass, writers. and, self, be aware.
The characters are well-developed and the narration and dialogue are well-written and readable with one big problem--the story--there wasn't one. This book was just a big nothing, but well enough written to keep you reading even after you've given up all hope of the story being anything other than trite and predictable. The author tried to throw in some drama with a surly YA son, but that surly adolescent stuff got as old as fast as it does in real life. This is purely a book for someone who enjoys self-pity, tons of self-pity, 364 pages worth of self-pity--not because the female protagonist (can't call her a heroine because she is also the villain) isn't getting her way--no, but because she IS getting her way--she deliberately, with malice and forethought, creates all the misery for herself and everybody concerned and then cries about it. The passive-aggressive gamey junk drags on ad nauseum, long past the time any slightly sane person would have resolved the situation one way or the other. Finally the author ends the book in the most predictable fashion possible for every member of the family, without one drop of one surprise or originality in the conclusion. This book could be used to teach a writing course on how to create literature's least sympathetic character.
Do You like book Bygones (2005)?
Enjoy Lavyrle Spencer! Read her books when they first came out, and I'm going back to all of them again. They hold up so well...My biggest regret is that she retired! I first read this a few years ago and still have trouble putting it down (even on the re-reads!) I appreciate the storyline here (where the main character is married to someone else). Seeing a divorced couple get back together with encouragement from one of their children is a refreshing plotline, and the story moved along at just the right pace. The characters in this story were all believable and likable, and the ending in this book didn't leave me feeling like I'd just read a fairy tale.
—Ruth
Cerita yang romantis. Menceritakan cinta yang tak pernah mati antara michael dan bess meskipun diantara mereka sempat terbentang tembok kebencian. Namun cinta itu tak pernah padam. Cinta itu merekah kembali begitu kesempatan mempertemukan mereka kembali dan membawa mereka menjadi satu keluarga yang utuh kembali. Cerita ini juga mengajarkan kita untuk tidak mengabaikan persoalan yang ada dalam suatu hubungan. Karena persoalan yang tidak terselesaikan itu membuat suatu hubungan semakin renggang. Buku ini banyak mengajarkan tentang suatu hubungan.
—Agi
Bought this book because Bess and Michael have my irl last name. :PRead (9/7/15): 2 stars, because there was some really lolzy parts-- the retro, dated 80's references.The pot smoking scene. Not the H/h, mind you, but their druggy son. LOLZ for dayz.I did not like this book because of the fact they predominately blamed the heroine for the hero's cheating. The only person to blame for cheating is the cheater. No one "made" you cheat. I don't mind the cheating plot-line, as long as people don't blame the person who got cheated on for the cheating, especially in modern day times. Also if you are gonna redeem the cheater at least make it believable.Also the daughter who wants her parents to re-marry, what are you 5? (she's 21+ in this book). Your parents divorced for a reason, and it doesn't mean that they should get back together, lets be real.Don't mind me, I'm a jaded child of divorced parents and for a time, a single mother. I'm tired of the worn out stereotypes of divorce and single motherhood. And the kids after a divorce-- don't get me started, especially when they are adults.
—Rabbit {Paint me like one of your 19th century gothic heroines!}
