E se mio figlio nascesse down? o menomato? Come tutti i futuri genitori anch'io mi sono posto questa angosciosa domanda insieme a mia moglie durante la sua gravidanza. Al di là delle convinzioni religiose di ciascuno, non esiste una risposta univoca a questa domanda atroce, ma soprattutto la speranza di non dover affrontare il problema sulla propria pelle.Per fortuna mio figlio è nato normalissimo, anche se il parto è stato molto sofferto, ma mi è rimasto un ricordo tangibile di quei giorni. Infatti in quel periodo ho acquistato questo libro di Pontiggia, ma come per altri libri, l'ho poi lasciato sullo scaffale, intimorito dal suo contenuto.Finalmente mi sono deciso ad affrontarlo, anzi mi ha talmente coinvolto che l'ho divorato in due giorni e mi sono rimaste delle impressioni molto forti.Innanzitutto una storia come questa non può essere opera di fantasia, troppi sono i dettagli che sgocciolano tra le righe e troppo autentiche le reazioni dei personaggi.La figura centrale a mio parere non è Paolo, il figlio disabile, ma il padre, che rispecchia continuamente nella condizione del figlio i propri limiti e le proprie nevrosi. Alla fine del libro, dopo trent'anni estenuanti di sacrifici e conflitti, comincia a capire veramente che suo figlio è diventato comunque un uomo, e vuole solo vivere a pieno la vita che ha.Questo libro spara in faccia al lettore molti interrogativi e ne chiude pochi, ma soprattutto non da' giudizi, mostra solo gli sforzi di una famiglia dinanzi ad una situazione di sofferenza a cui non era preparata.Da questa lettura emerge con forza un grande insegnamento, ovvero che specialmente di fronte alla sofferenza ingiusta non esistono scappatoie. Bisogna imparare ad accettare la realtà che ci sconvolge esattamente come è, qualunque abbellimento, travisamento a fin di bene, come pure la drammatizzazione esagerata, non ci è di alcun aiuto. Solo se accettiamo il disagio com'è possiamo fare del nostro meglio per affrontarlo, anche senza alcuna garanzia di successo.
I borrowed this book after watching the (very loosely) based Italian movie ‘Le chiavi di casa’.For me, there were certain issues with the story. First thing, you never get a real sense of the extent of Paolo’s disability. He’s got so few dialogues that the reader can’t assess his condition and neither his personality. I think that Paolo wasn’t even in most chapters; he was just part of a subject to be reflected about, a catalyst for the father’s thoughts and judgments.I found Professor Frigerio very hard to like. He was so judgmental of everyone else, like he always knew better but sometimes had no choice but to comply with the stupidity of others. In his own words from the book “I magnify other people’s shortcomings in order to minimize my own”. I understand that’s the angle the author may have planned for the character but I don’t have to like reading it.The story goes back and forth and is never clear about the time events are taking place, which I would consider important to get a better understanding of Paolo’s development (for example, if he was having a hard time learning to tie his shoes, how old he was then? Was this something he should have already known or was it understandable that he struggled with it?).In general, details are seriously lacking on this story. (view spoiler)[What happened to Paolo’s brother, Alfredo? He was mentioned in one of the first chapters and never again. I would have thought that to be a relevant thing to address again at some point (did they go to the school together? Did their relationship change?). It was strange that he was nowhere to be seen on the trip to Greece and on the family reunions mentioned. (hide spoiler)]
Do You like book Born Twice (2003)?
OK, I gave it four stars. But I think this novel is truly brilliant. I do know I did not have the time to devote to thinking about it that I would have liked. Really, I would have preferred to read it in a book club setting (RL or online). And to think I picked it up off a library display because the cover is so awesome.This Italian award-winner reads like a memoir. It is short, it is sparse, it is a first-person narration. Our narrator is the father of a boy (Paolo), who was deprived of oxygen at birth and as a result has (what seems to be but is never named) cerebral palsy.The father, Professor Frigerio, narrates a variety of occasions: the birth itself, visits to therapists, a support group, Paolo's older brother's teasing, relationships with his in-laws and mother, Paolo at school, a crooked elementary principal, a trip to Greece, trips to the store.Within these narrations you get glimpses of the meat of the story--is the professor angry at his wife and her mother for refusing and not demanding a c-section? How does he feel about his own pushing of Paolo through exercises? Through demanding that he walk? How does he feel about the others in his support group? Is he embarrassed to take his son out? He wants to recognize that Paolo is his own, intelligent person--but doesn't seem ready to let go. All of this would be so great for discussion.
—Dree
I'd never heard of this book, then suddenly I was seeing it everywhere. It's amazing how that happens sometimes. I believe this book appeared on the New York Times list of books that critics loved but expected didn't have wide readership in the US. This book should definitely find more readers. There were occasional moments of cultural or translation awkwardness that made me stumble -- such as repeated references in conversation to someone changing to dialect, or the use of the tu form of address -- but overall the book was heartfelt and readable. As a lawyer, I couldn't help noticing the lack of litigious instinct on the part of the parents. Their son, through inept use of forceps during a breech birth, has physical and linguistic disabilities. The book, more a series of memories than a chronological plot-based story, is told from the father's perspective as he examines his own reactions to his son's disabilities and the developing reactions between them.
—Joanna
Ricco nella lingua e nelle emozioni. Lucido e amaro, come quando scrive "E' sempre bene, se vogliamo la solidariet�, inserire voci passive nei nostri bilanci. Gli altri ce ne sono grati. E sappiamo che mai ci vogliono cos� bene come quando non stiamo bene." Ti entra dentro.
—Elalma
