About book 10 ½ Things No Commencement Speaker Has Ever Said (2012)
I'm quite sure that few of us remember any of the speeches from the commencements we've attended, regardless of whether you were the graduate, family or friends. It's difficult to come up with a new spin on the typical aphorisms and platitudes - you know, "go forth and conquer the world", "follow your dreams," "live long and prosper", etc.When I first spotted the title of this book, I expected it to be a humorous, sarcastic take on the typical graduation advice. When I browsed the first chapter, which is titled "Your time in fraternity basements was well spent", I thought, "yeah, right - how can drinking, playing video games and avoiding your studies be a good thing?" But then, when I scanned to the end of that chapter and saw the author's advice that developing meaningful longtime relationships was critical to success and life fulfillment, I thought he was on to something.Wheelan, an economics professor at Dartmouth College, developed this slim volume based on a well-received class day speech that he gave in 2011. Some of the advice really resonated with me, including the chapter on "take time off". He recounted the story of accepting a 200 mile ride from an elderly stranger so that they could make it to their flight out of LAX in time for the beginning of a round-the-world trip. The reason why they accepted this ride from a complete stranger made me gasp with astonishment.I won't spoil your enjoyment of the book by listing any more of the 10-1/2 things, and I do highly recommend this book as a "must-read" for both parents and a great gift for graduates. Sure, you can read Charles Wheelan’s speech reprinted on the Wall Street Journal or even look up the complete speech on Dartmouth College’s site, but I still think his book, “10 1/2 Things No Commencement Speaker Has Ever Said” is worth reading.Initially, his second point was what stuck out the most for me: “Some of your worst days lie ahead.”He writes: “I am here to tell you that between today and twenty years from now, and even then at some points, there are going to be some stretches that are plain awful…you will face extended periods of grinding self-doubt and failure.”Not exactly the cheery sort of message you’d expect at commencement, huh? But, you know what? It’s true.I look back to the years immediately after I graduated and they were some of the worst years of my life so far. It’s the main reason why I think your twenties are overrated. You’re ejected out of the school system into the “real” world and that’s when the long grind of discovering who you are really begins.Who you are — not who your parents or teachers or society thinks you should be.For some of us, that might not mean an office job; for others, it might not mean getting married and having kids. There are no rules for how life should look. You just live it.And this brings me to another point Wheelan had in his speech and his book: Your parents don’t want what is best for you. They want what is good for you, which is not always the same thing.He writes: “For years, I tried to unravel the mystery of how such well-meaning people could be such a pain in the ass when it came to important life decisions. Then, when I became a parent, I figured it out. No parent wants to watch a child flounder or fail. There is a natural instinct to urge safe choices.”A lot of the stuff that’s been said here has been said before, elsewhere, but here, put together in a slim volume, it’s great to be reminded of those important life lessons that everybody needs to learn.
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Loved it! Some very wise insights in this little book.
—drg
