“GOD’S CALLGIRL” by Carla Van Raay (non-fiction)During World War 2, Carla’s early childhood experiences in a small town in Holland revolved around her family struggles and Catholic upbringing that framed how one very young girl would perceive her place in the world controlled by adults and the Church.A terrible secret, a busy and seemingly unsympathetic mother, and a child’s inner conflicts about how she viewed the contradictions of her understanding of Church and God, moulded Carla as she grew into adulthood. I was quite absorbed by her story in Holland, and her life in Australia within the convent, but became quite frustrated that at no time did she ever seek another opinion from the one inside her own head. After her marriage and the birth of her child, Carla seems to be never satisfied and has a need to explore something she felt missing from her early life. Entering into a life of prostitution was, I felt, initially only a short-term solution, but further reading gave insight into Carla’s turmoil and eventual addiction. I became very impatient to finish this book, quite frustrated and annoyed by a total self-absorption and indulgence of the author, however, those who grew up in Catholic convent education may appreciate this book far more than I. I really loathed this book, and rushed to finish and be done with it! The author is filled with self-pity and looking to blame others for her own self-designed predicament. While one feels great horror for the child who suffered at the betrayal and abuse from her father, I felt that there was something deliberatley omitted from the story. This child was presented with a few potential confidantes that she chose to ignore and I did wonder why.The remainder of the story continued in the same vein with the author at one moment intrigued by the seclusion of the convent, yet at the same time unable to make the most of her situation. Yes, we understand that conditions were harsh in some circumstances, and that indeed much harm was done in such secretive cloistered living, but the author continued to place herself in situations seemingly deliberately in order to suffer more. I guess some psychologists would blame her past of victimisation by her father, but once again, she had an opportunity NOT to be where she put herself.The path that lead to her work as a prostitute is once again laid at the feet of her past, but I see a person who clearly made the decision, and perhaps if she had not been so unwilling to state and accept her own part in her life, maybe I could have empathised with her story.
I am not quite sure how to rate this book.How can I say that I found it a dreadful story, when it is actually someone’s real life?let’s start by saying that I found it really hard to believe that the author could recall memories from when she was only 2 or 3 years old. Very detailed memories indeed.... Then I am not talking about the abuse of her father. But about what her mother said when she was two and what visitors came and what they wore etc.During the whole book there was not one moment I could relate or feel sorry for her, because through it all I just felt she called it all down to herself. She likes being the victim and the "ow poor me" storyline becomes to get boring after a short while. She starts her book with pointing out the horror of the convent. But throughout the book there was not one moment that I thought "Indeed this is horror." Let’s be completely honest shall we. She is a non in a convent in de 50's, it must not have been paradise. But she did not get beaten, did not get abused. She was left out, mainly because she choose to be. She went left when everybody went right. She said it was A when everybody said B. I indeed think that convent wasn't the place to be for her.After the convent she became a call girl, as she explains because she had a godly vision about being a bringer of light to the people. Who are you kidding woman? You are a hooker as simply as that. And let me state that there is nothing wrong with being a prostitute, but just lets be fair and open about it. Not the "this is my divine way of giving joy to the people". You fuck for money, it’s a job as old as humanity, but that’s it. Nothing divine about it.By the end of the book she gets involved with all kinds of shamans, spiritual leaders and I just couldn't be bother anymore. I finished the book yes, because I was so close to the end. But what a dreadful story it was.We honestly think that the only thing that could actually have helped Carla was a good shrink. According to everything I have read she is a extreme borderline patient.
Do You like book God's Callgirl: A Memoir (2004)?
I was not overly fond of this book. I don't read a lot of memoirs and this one really was a good example of why. When you give a plot sumary this is a hugely eventful life, but it often came across as self-indulgent and I didn't often sympathise with the protagonist.That said, many in my bookclub disagreed! We had a great evening of discussion and many felt that it was an engaging tale and that her behaviour was easily understood after all that she had been through.The scores were: 0/7/5/5/5/7/7/5/3/510 of us read and ranked it - average works out at 4.9.
—Book Bazaar
I enjoyed the first and second parts of this book, however I found the third part unnecessarily over-graphic, and in general the writing style was very mediocre. I felt the language declined exponentially towards the end, and at parts I felt like I was reading a book written by a child. Carla's attitude annoyed me for the most part. I knew straight away when she left the convent she would be 'dirty' about the ideas of nuns and probably religion in general, but her and mighty holier-than-thou attitude really grated after a while.
—Hannah
Carla mengalami pelecehan seksual oleh ayahnya sendiri saat masih kanak-kanak membuatnya trauma berkepanjangan. Dia beranjak dewasa dengan menyimpan sebuah rahasia gelap, dan dia senantiasa mencari cinta dan kasih sayang. Begitu pula saat dia memutuskan untuk masuk biara, menjadi seorang biarawati, mengabdikan hidupnya untuk Tuhan. Tetapi yang ditemukannya hanyalah dinding-dinding nan bisu. Akhirnya dia pun melepaskan diri, terbebas dari sumpahnya.Pernikahan yang gagal dan seorang anak perempuan yang membutuhkan biaya membuat Carla beralih ke profesi yang paling berlawanan, yaitu menjadi seorang pekerja seks komersial. Sang pelacur Tuhan pun lahir. Segala pembenaran dicarinya demi menyucikan perbuatannya. Carla tak tahu, bahwa dia tak bisa melarikan diri selamanya. Ketika wajah asli nan buruk rupa dari bisnis itu menampakkan diri, Carla pun harus bangkit dan memulai perjalanan untuk menyingkap rahasia hidupnya. Begitu lah.
—Imas
